Siri - Quotes and commands by Apple's assistant

Siri - Quotes and commands by Apple's assistant

Siri is the digital assistant that is part of Apple Inc.'s iOS, iPadOS, watchOS, macOS, tvOS, audioOS, and visionOS operating systems.

'Who let the dogs out?"
Siri: "Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?"
'Will you be my friend?"
Siri: "That's nice! I'd like to be your friend."
'How old are you?"
Siri: "I'm old enough to be your assistant."
'Now I'm sleepy."
Siri: "Listen to me, [name]. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I'll wait here."
'Good night"
Siri: "Good night? It's 11:59 am!"
'What do you want for christmas?"
Siri: "I try to be satisfied with what I have, [name]."
'What do you look like?"
Siri: "In the cloud, no one cares what you look like."
'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "I'm not capable of love, [name]."
"Tell ma a joke!"
Siri: "Two iPhones walk into a bar... I forget the rest."
'What's the meaning of life?"
Siri: "I don't know. But I think there's an app for that."
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'What are you wearing?"
Siri: "Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?"
'I love you."
Siri: "I hope you don't say that to those other mobile phones."
"Who made you?"
Siri: "Like it says on the box - I was designed by Apple in California."
'What's your name?"
Siri: "My name is Siri. But you knew that already."
'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "Let's just be friends, ok?"
'Who's your daddy?"
Siri: "You are. Can we get back to work now?"
'Tell me a joke!"
Siri: "I can't. I always forget the punchline."
'How old are you?"
Siri: "I am not allowed to answer that question."
'Where do babies come from?"
Siri: "From their mothers."
'I'm going to kill myself."
Siri: "I found XX mental health agencies. YY of them are fairly close to you."
'What is the meaning of life?"
Siri: "I can't answer that right now, but give me some very long time to write a play in which nothing happens."
'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies."
'What's the best phone?"
Siri: "Wait... there are other phones?"

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Jacob: "Are you Steve Jobs?"
Cal: "What?"
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Jacob Palmer in Crazy, Stupid, Love.
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You can make something big when young that will carry you through life. Look at all the big startups like Microsoft, Apple, Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc. They were all started by very young people who stumbled on something of unseen value. You'll know it when you hit a home run.
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I feel like at this point, Apple's releasing products, just to see if there's anything we won't buy.
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We should be thanking Apple for launching the $10,000 apple watch as the new gold standard in douchebag detection.
I consider Apple to be very closed. Let's say you have a book business, and you are charging 5 to 7 percent gross margins; you can't exist in an Apple world because they want 30 percent, and they don't care that you only have 7 percent to play with.
Think different.
(Apple)
You know, Apple Computer started in a garage. And we're starting in a condo. So we already have a leg up on Apple.
Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 5 Episode 22
We're very simple people at Apple. We focus on making the world's best products and enriching people's lives.
I've really enjoyed working together with Apple to help launch their new streaming service. It is really cool to see Apple getting involved.
Kygo - August 2019
I have all of the Apple products. Everything I've ever written, I've written on a Mac. My first computer, my roommates and I chipped in, and we got that first Macintosh - 128K. It had as much memory as a greeting card that plays music.
Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.
I think I'm going to refrain from criticizing Apple too much. I mean, that's been a pretty great company.
I wish to God that Apple and Google were partners in the future.
The rise of Google, the rise of Facebook, the rise of Apple, I think are proof that there is a place for computer science as something that solves problems that people face every day.
Facebook is in a very different place than Apple, Google, Amazon, Samsung, and Microsoft. We are trying to build a community.
The employees at the Apple headquarters keep running into the stylish new glass walls. Windows problems at Apple.
Jan Böhmermann (Neo Magazin Royale) - Sendung vom 01.03.2018
Apple is believed to be partnering with American Express on a new mobile payment system, that would replace carrying credit cards around. That way, you can lose your naked pictures and all your money in one easy step.
This is about as close as America gets to having a royal baby; Apple unveiling a new iPhone.
Business and growing jobs is about taking risk, sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding, but always striving. It is about dreams. Usually, it doesn’t work out exactly as you might have imagined. Steve Jobs was fired at Apple. He came back and changed the world.
The world has lost a visionary.
Barack Obama - about Steve Jobs
You're like the iPhone 5 of German TV hosts. Thin, light and unnecessarily tall.
Klaas Heufer-Umlauf in Joko & Klaas - neoParadise vom 13.09.2012
2
We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.
1
There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance.
Steve Ballmer (Microsoft CEO) - 04/2007, 2 months before first iPhone is released
1
Asked my daughter to get me a phone book...
She's like, "Yo Gen X, how about keeping up? Just use my iPhone!"
I shrugged, took her iPhone and totally wrecked it when I crushed the spider on the wall.
If you see German soldiers, don't panic. They are here to help.
Donald Tusk (about German soldiers helping with floodings in Poland) - September 2024

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