Siri - Quotes and commands by Apple's assistant

'Who let the dogs out?"
Siri: "Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?"

'Will you be my friend?"
Siri: "That's nice! I'd like to be your friend."

'How old are you?"
Siri: "I'm old enough to be your assistant."

'Now I'm sleepy."
Siri: "Listen to me, [name]. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I'll wait here."

'Good night"
Siri: "Good night? It's 11:59 am!"

'What do you want for christmas?"
Siri: "I try to be satisfied with what I have, [name]."

'What do you look like?"
Siri: "In the cloud, no one cares what you look like."

'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "I'm not capable of love, [name]."

"Tell ma a joke!"
Siri: "Two iPhones walk into a bar... I forget the rest."

'What's the meaning of life?"
Siri: "I don't know. But I think there's an app for that."

'What are you wearing?"
Siri: "Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?"

'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "Let's just be friends, ok?"

'Who's your daddy?"
Siri: "You are. Can we get back to work now?"

'Tell me a joke!"
Siri: "I can't. I always forget the punchline."

'How old are you?"
Siri: "I am not allowed to answer that question."

'Where do babies come from?"
Siri: "From their mothers."

'I'm going to kill myself."
Siri: "I found XX mental health agencies. YY of them are fairly close to you."

'What is the meaning of life?"
Siri: "I can't answer that right now, but give me some very long time to write a play in which nothing happens."

'Will you marry me?"
Siri: "My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies."

'What's the best phone?"
Siri: "Wait... there are other phones?"