Quotes and Sayings about Sex

Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries

Sheldon: "You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?"
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 2

Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent... leave that to me.

Eminem

Violence Drugs

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

Perry Cox in Scrubs - Season 2 Episode 2

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 1

Ice Cream

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

New York City

I don't know what's better gettin' laid or gettin' paid.

Kanye West

Money

Org*sms don't send you Valentine's cards and don't hold your hand in a sad movie.

Charlotte York in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 4

Valentine's Day

Sex is not a time to chat. It's one of the few instances in my overly articulated, exceedingly verbal life, where it is perfectly appropriate, if not preferable, to shut up.

Miranda Hobbes in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 2

I'm sorry, but the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship.

Gregory House in Dr. House - Season 1 Episode 8

Relationships

Tell a man: "I hate you" - you'II have the best sex of your Iife. But tell him: "I Iove you" - you'II probably never see him again.

Samantha Jones in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 10

Men Singles & Dating

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

Love Erotic Quotes

When choosing sexual partners, remember: talent is not sexually transmittable.

Tina Fey

You know, it has been 17 days since I've "enjoyed" you. And I assume it's been months since you've enjoyed me.

Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1

Masturbation

Robin: "Have plans with Don on Saturday, he's making me Chinese."
Lily: "I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise, I have some follow-up-questions."

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 22

A sexy glance beats a bl*wjob every time.

Anna in White Lines - Season 1 Episode 1

Erotic Quotes

There is no aphrodisiac like innocence.

Jean Baudrillard

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.

Mignon McLaughlin

Men & Women

Amanda: "Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it makes it complicated."
Graham: "That's why it's better to have it... some say."

Graham in The Holiday

Abstinence is a healthy choice, that many teens will make. Either by choice, or, as I can attest, by circumstance.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight) - Sex Education

Teenagers

We've had sex 23 days straight. I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo!

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Episode 21

Michelangelo Erotic Quotes

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives - Season 1 Episode 1

Penisses

Samantha: "I think it's sad the way she's using a child to validate her existence."
Carrie: "Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?"

Samantha Jones in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 10

Cocktails

Samantha: "Threesomes are huge right now, they're the bl*wjob of the '90s."
Charlotte: "What was the bl*wjob of the '80s?"
Samantha: "Anal sex."

Samantha Jones in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 8

Erotic Quotes

Brokers give investment advice. Architects - design advice. Single people give married friends tidbits from their sexual escapades.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 3

Singles & Dating

Dinner's a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact, that sex just doesn't. Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Restaurants

I am not "with" Nora. Wrong Preposition! Later tonight I'm hoping to be "on" Nora, right? Or "under" Nora. Am I right? Or, we're all adults, so I'll just say it: "behind" Nora.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 18

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 17

Clay: "I got another idea for a good time. Hm? Maybe?"
Amanda: "We've got 15 minutes before they're begging to go to the beach."
Clay: "That's all I need."

Clay Sandford in Leave the World Behind

Children are God's way of punishing us for having sex.

Barbara Walters

Sex and a cocktail: they both lasted about as long, had the same effect, and amounted to the same thing.

D. H. Lawrence in Lady Chatterley's Lover

Cocktails

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Bill Maher

No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

Michelle Flaherty in American Pie

Turkeys

Men, the one thing they're good for, they're not good at.

Peggy Bundy in Married... with Children

Men

Sometimes, I think sex is the root of all evil.

Anatomy of a Scandal - Season 1 Episode 1

A terrible sex life is like a virus. Your marriage can be healthy in all other aspects, but once the sex dies out, it starts to infect all the other parts of your relationship.

Colleen Hoover in Verity

Nobody wants to have to have sex with the same person forever.

Mindy Chen in Emily in Paris - Season 1 Episode 2

The sex drive is the most important and powerful behaviour in mankind.

Richard Ramirez

Sex is for anyone; the aftermath is for lovers.

Harlan Coben in Tell No One

Erotic Quotes

I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.

Oliver Reed

Alcohol

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

Alcohol Enjoying Smoking Funny Quotes

Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.

Sarah Jessica Parker

Beauty

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

Robert A. Heinlein

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.

Andy Warhol

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Woody Allen

Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 12

Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with, is like changing the oil on a rental car!

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 14

I don't feel so good. It's like my testicals mixed poprocks and soda.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 14

Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 14

You might like these Quotes aswell

It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.

Helsinki in Money Heist - Season 4 Episode 5

Love

Lust and logic never seem to go hand in hand.

Violet Sorrengail in Fourth Wing

Erotic Quotes

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Breakup Beginning

Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 12

Breakup

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

Natalie Portman

Intelligence Men & Women Singles & Dating

Quotes and Sayings about Sex

You might like these Quotes aswell

Related pages to Sex