Quotes from Scrubs (Page 2)

Did you actually just page me to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lensner? It's regular-strength tylenol. Here's what you do. Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.

I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

Carla: 'Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?'
Turk: 'I think you mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?'

I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

Either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.