The best Quotes from Scrubs

Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.

J.D. - Season 2 Episode 18

Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.

J.D.

Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

Perry Cox - Season 1 Episode 15

Relationships

The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.

J.D. - Season 6 Episode 11

Memories

Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends'... if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.

J.D. - Season 2 Episode 12

Friendship Breakup

You just have to remember, that even if things are changing all around you, deep down you're still the same person.

J.D. - Season 8 Episode 9

Change

I grew up on the street. No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.

J.D. - Season 8 Episode 5

Sesame Street Street

Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.

Bob Kelso - Season 4 Episode 20

I don't believe in fate. I believe we have more control than we think and that every action has a reaction. After all, the most minor event, even a butterfly flapping its wings, can change everything.

J.D. - Season 3 Episode 16

Butterflies

What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

Bob Kelso - Season 3 Episode 10

Sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

J.D. - Season 3 Episode 19

God, my brilliance is now becoming a bit of a burden. Get back to me!

Perry Cox - Season 3 Episode 17

I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

Perry Cox - Season 4 Episode 11

Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?

Perry Cox - Season 1 Episode 17

Because often when you do it, it makes you happy. Things have a way of working out.

J.D. - Season 8 Episode 4

J.D.: "What's wrong with me?"
Dr. Cox: "You're an annoying, whining man-child."
J.D.: "That question wasn't directed to you!"
Dr. Cox: "What question?"

Perry Cox - Season 7 Episode 1

J.D.

In the end, the most important thing to accept is that - no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be - with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too.

J.D. - Season 3 Episode 14

J.D.: "When one person dies, another person gets a chance to live. I like to call it the circle of life."
Dr. Cox: "Oh, my God, you must stop
watching The Lion King."
J.D.: "I like that baby lion cub... what's his name?"
Dr. Cox: "Uhm, Simba."
J.D.: "Trick question - you like it too!"

J.D. - Season 2 Episode 13

Simba The Lion King

Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted?

Perry Cox - Season 1 Episode 11

Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.

J.D. - Season 4 Episode 8

Dr. Cox: "I hate you. You suck."
Elliot: "I know, but I've been trying harder."
Dr. Cox: "Barbie? Talking to the computer, but nice self esteem."

Perry Cox - Season 2 Episode 19

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

Perry Cox - Season 2 Episode 2

Sex

Elliot: "I am through taking my clothes off in front of men!"
Dr. Kelso: "I think I can speak for all of us when I say: we'll live."

Bob Kelso - Season 2 Episode 13

It's hard to face a harsh truth about yourself. The only thing you can do, is try to take positive steps.

J.D. - Season 2 Episode 9

It's about the day I realised, that admitting we're not heroic, is when we're the most heroic of all.

J.D. - Season 1 Episode 23

Heros

I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

Perry Cox - Season 3 Episode 4

Either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.

Perry Cox - Season 4 Episode 2

Turk: "Well?"
J.D.: "It's beautiful. But my parents are killing me, if I marry a black guy."

J.D. - Season 2 Episode 13

Elliot: "I'm notifying all my old boyfriends today that I'm officially off the market."
Dr. Cox: "I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!"

Perry Cox - Season 6 Episode 20

Ex Quotes

Have you ever had a thought, that you didn't immediately verbalize?

Perry Cox - Season 4 Episode 8

About a year ago, Jordan said she wanted to 'crash for a while'. Now my office is a nursery, my closet is my office, my clothes are in the entertainment center, and my TV is in the john - which I guess is kind of nice, I don't even know anymore.

Perry Cox - Season 3 Episode 10

Elliot: "I'm not hiding, I was just looking for my... you know, the... I was looking for my dignity."
J.D.: "Did you find it?"
Elliot: "No. I must've left it at college."

Elliot Reid - Season 2 Episode 1

College Dignity

Should I talk slower or get a nurse who speaks fluent Moron?

Perry Cox - Season 1 Episode 5

Carla, I have a six-month old child, I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, 'Hmm, is he the dad, is he the grandad, is he the grandad's grandad and oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year old little boy is in the mud crying? Is--is he taunting the little boy? No! He can't even see the little boy, and, now look: he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD.'

Perry Cox - Season 3 Episode 8

Finding Nemo

Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call.

J.D. - Season 1 Episode 23

Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.

Perry Cox - Season 2 Episode 22

This is the reason why your headache didn't go away. That's actually pronounced 'an-al-ge-sic', not 'anal-gesic'. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.

Christopher Turk - Season 2 Episode 8

Carla: "Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?"
Turk: "I think you mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?"

Christopher Turk - Season 3 Episode 6

Bob Kelso: "If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love."
Dr. Cox: "I think your credit card statement would beg to differ."

Perry Cox - Season 4 Episode 17

Bob Kelso

J.D.: "Well how would you feel if I hooked up with one of your siblings?"
Elliot: "A little confused considering I have four brothers."

Elliot Reid - Season 4 Episode 7

Elliot: "My life is a mess."
J.D.: "At least you're pretty."
Elliot: "Pretty don't pay the rent."
Carla: "It does for my sister."
Elliot: "Your sister's a prostitute?"
Carla: "She's a model! Come on, we talked about thinking before we speak."

Elliot Reid - Season 2 Episode 19

Elliot: "Are you sexually active?"
J.D.: "It's active."
Elliot: "I'll write 'rare dry spell' in the margin."

Elliot Reid - Season 1 Episode 9

J.D.

Lemme see if I can make this real clear for you: If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix, because at one time you served some function, but it was so long ago nobody's quite sure what that was anymore.

Perry Cox - Season 6 Episode 7

Saying someone is the best surgeon, is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of 'The Hills'.

Perry Cox - Season 8 Episode 4

Did you actually just page me to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lensner? It's regular-strength tylenol. Here's what you do. Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.

Perry Cox - Season 1 Episode 1

I started an 'I hate Cox'-chatroom. Hasn't worked out the way I planned. It's me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.

Elliot Reid - Season 5 Episode 22

Turk: "Dude, what's the rule about white boys dancing in public?"
J.D.: "Not allowed unless you're gay..."

Christopher Turk - Season 3 Episode 1

Homosexuality & LGBTQ+

Julie: "It has minimal side effects, only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage."
Dr. Cox: "I'm getting two out of three from the conversation."

Perry Cox - Season 2 Episode 7

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

Perry Cox - Season 2 Episode 5

Ass Fat People

Maybe it's not about being the best. Maybe it's about finding little things, that get you through the day. Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed - if only for a moment.

J.D. - Season 1 Episode 7

Small Things

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There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes... well, sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

J.D. - Season 3 Episode 19

Decisions

Elliot: "When did you meet Morgan Freeman?"
Turk: "That's my mom."
Elliot: "I like her freckles."

Elliot Reid - Season 1 Episode 2

Christopher Turk Morgan Freeman

Dr. Cox: "You going there, chief?"
Bob Kelso: "No. If I wanted to make small talk over low-grade beef, I'd have dinner at home."

Bob Kelso - Season 2 Episode 7

The best Quotes from Scrubs

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