Eighty-six years. But with good behavior... who knows?
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 13I wasn't there when the meth was cooked. I wasn't there when it was sold. I didn't witness any of the murders, but I damn well knew what was happening. I was more than a willing participant. I was indispensable. I kept Walter White out of Jail. I laundered his money. I lied for him. I conspired with him and I made millions.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 13During incarceration, defendant Goodman to receive one pint Blue Bell mint chocolate chip ice cream every Friday for the duration.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 13Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 8I'm still out here. Still getting away with it. Feds couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a proctologist.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 12So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole?? Believe me, I speak from experience.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 11I got more second-story guys in my book than pimples at a junior prom.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 11At least I know they didn't spot you. No one could stay that aroused with your mug peeking through the window.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 11Jesse: "You should've just let me drive, yo."
Walter: "Look, nothing would be different in this moment, except you panicking and flooding the engine."
Saul: "Fellas, I was enjoying the Laurel and Hardy vibe, but I'm not such a fan of the Bickersons."
Look at this setup! What, you two drive around like Mister Softee, and scooping out drugs for all the good boys and girls?
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 11Crazy? I'll tell you what's crazy. 50-year-old high school chemistry teacher comes into my office. The guy is so broke, he can't pay his own mortgage. One year later, he's got a pile of cash as big as a Volkswagen.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 10Let justice be done though the heavens fall.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 9Screw the FCC! I'll go to the mat with those pencil-pushers! This is textbook freedom of speech. What could be more American than that?
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 9Listen, you have a choice, okay? You can pay up now or bleed to death in court.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 9One day, we'll wake up, and brush our teeth, and go to work. And at some point, we'll suddenly realize that we haven't thought about it at all. None of it. And that's when we'll know. We'll know we can forget.
ForgettingSaul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 9Wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest... it's a free country. But how come I always get sloppy seconds?
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 13Saul: "What'd you tell them?"
Jesse: "I told them they're a couple of d-cks."
Saul: "He's a wordsmith."
All I know is when he tells me that your employer took him out threatening to murder his family, I take notice. Because after all, what am I, if not family?
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 12If a mosquito is buzzing around you and it bites you on the ass, you don't go gunning for the attorney. You go grab a fly swatter.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 8How come you guys always give air freshener. I explicitly say, "no air freshener". And every time, I drive away smelling like an Alpine whorehouse.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 11If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once convinced a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked, cecause I believed it!
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 11Did the academy hire you right out of the womb? You guys get younger and younger every year. We have laws, detective, have your kindergarten teacher read them to you.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 8Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers: Only the very best... with just a right amount of dirty!
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 11If you wanna stay a criminal and not become, say, a convict, maybe you should grow up and listen to your lawyer.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 9You're now the cute on of the group. Paul, meet Ringo. Ringo, Paul.
BeatlesSaul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 3 Episode 7What Colonel Sanders is to chicken, Saul Goodman is to the law.
KFCSaul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 6 Episode 5Betsy Kettleman: "No, Craig. He's got an angle."
Jimmy McGill: "I do have an angle, Craig. It's an angle called justice."
Saul Goodman is the last line of defense for the little guy. Are you getting sold down the river? He's a life raft. You getting stepped on? He's a sharp stick. You got Goliath on your back - Saul's the guy with the slingshot. He's the righter of wrongs. He's friend to the friendless.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 5 Episode 4The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks, is if there's a $300 hook-r sitting in it.
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 1 Episode 1"How long does ist take for you to pick a Yale three-pin?"
"Well, then in eight minutes, you're gonna make four grand. Ten minutes if you decide to pick your nose."
I got us Thai iced teas, unless you want me to pour you something less non-alcoholic.
CocktailsSaul Goodman in Better Call Saul, Season 4 Episode 2Walter: "You're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart?"
Saul: "Come on, have you seen my hourly rate?"
Good to meet you. Don't drink and drive! But if you do, call me!
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 13Walter White: "Jesus, Jesse did that?"
Saul Goodman: "Yeah, but you gotta understand... deep down, he loves me."
Saul Goodman: "How about Florida? You get a tan, meet the Swedish bikini team, you know, swim with the dolphins."
Jesse Pinkman: "What about... Alaska?"
Saul Goodman: "Alaska, okay. Well, that's a different vibe. I never figured you for a big moose lover, but whatever floats your boat."
Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.
Funny InsultsSaul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 13Walt: "How did you find me?"
Saul: "We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My PI charged me for three hours, so I seriously doubt it took him more than one."
All I know is when he tells me your employer took him out in the desert and threatened to murder his entire family, I sat up and took notice. Because, hey, what am I if not family?
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 4 Episode 12Let's start with some tough love. You two suck at peddling meth. Period.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 11Make hay while the sun is still shining.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 9Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, Season 2 Episode 8