Quotes by Saul Goodman

Eighty-six years. But with good behavior... who knows?

I wasn't there when the meth was cooked. I wasn't there when it was sold. I didn't witness any of the murders, but I damn well knew what was happening. I was more than a willing participant. I was indispensable. I kept Walter White out of Jail. I laundered his money. I lied for him. I conspired with him and I made millions.

During incarceration, defendant Goodman to receive one pint Blue Bell mint chocolate chip ice cream every Friday for the duration.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

I'm still out here. Still getting away with it. Feds couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a proctologist.

So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole?? Believe me, I speak from experience.

I got more second-story guys in my book than pimples at a junior prom.

At least I know they didn't spot you. No one could stay that aroused with your mug peeking through the window.

Jesse: "You should've just let me drive, yo."
Walter: "Look, nothing would be different in this moment, except you panicking and flooding the engine."
Saul: "Fellas, I was enjoying the Laurel and Hardy vibe, but I'm not such a fan of the Bickersons."

Look at this setup! What, you two drive around like Mister Softee, and scooping out drugs for all the good boys and girls?

Crazy? I'll tell you what's crazy. 50-year-old high school chemistry teacher comes into my office. The guy is so broke, he can't pay his own mortgage. One year later, he's got a pile of cash as big as a Volkswagen.

Let justice be done though the heavens fall.

Screw the FCC! I'll go to the mat with those pencil-pushers! This is textbook freedom of speech. What could be more American than that?

Listen, you have a choice, okay? You can pay up now or bleed to death in court.

One day, we'll wake up, and brush our teeth, and go to work. And at some point, we'll suddenly realize that we haven't thought about it at all. None of it. And that's when we'll know. We'll know we can forget.

Wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest... it's a free country. But how come I always get sloppy seconds?

Saul: "What'd you tell them?"
Jesse: "I told them they're a couple of d-cks."
Saul: "He's a wordsmith."

All I know is when he tells me that your employer took him out threatening to murder his family, I take notice. Because after all, what am I, if not family?

If a mosquito is buzzing around you and it bites you on the ass, you don't go gunning for the attorney. You go grab a fly swatter.

How come you guys always give air freshener. I explicitly say, "no air freshener". And every time, I drive away smelling like an Alpine whorehouse.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once convinced a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked, cecause I believed it!

Did the academy hire you right out of the womb? You guys get younger and younger every year. We have laws, detective, have your kindergarten teacher read them to you.

Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers: Only the very best... with just a right amount of dirty!

If you wanna stay a criminal and not become, say, a convict, maybe you should grow up and listen to your lawyer.

You're now the cute on of the group. Paul, meet Ringo. Ringo, Paul.

What Colonel Sanders is to chicken, Saul Goodman is to the law.

Betsy Kettleman: "No, Craig. He's got an angle."
Jimmy McGill: "I do have an angle, Craig. It's an angle called justice."

Saul Goodman is the last line of defense for the little guy. Are you getting sold down the river? He's a life raft. You getting stepped on? He's a sharp stick. You got Goliath on your back - Saul's the guy with the slingshot. He's the righter of wrongs. He's friend to the friendless.

The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks, is if there's a $300 hook-r sitting in it.

"How long does ist take for you to pick a Yale three-pin?"
"Well, then in eight minutes, you're gonna make four grand. Ten minutes if you decide to pick your nose."

I got us Thai iced teas, unless you want me to pour you something less non-alcoholic.

Walter: "You're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart?"
Saul: "Come on, have you seen my hourly rate?"

Good to meet you. Don't drink and drive! But if you do, call me!

Walter White: "Jesus, Jesse did that?"
Saul Goodman: "Yeah, but you gotta understand... deep down, he loves me."

Saul Goodman: "How about Florida? You get a tan, meet the Swedish bikini team, you know, swim with the dolphins."
Jesse Pinkman: "What about... Alaska?"
Saul Goodman: "Alaska, okay. Well, that's a different vibe. I never figured you for a big moose lover, but whatever floats your boat."

Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

Walt: "How did you find me?"
Saul: "We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My PI charged me for three hours, so I seriously doubt it took him more than one."

All I know is when he tells me your employer took him out in the desert and threatened to murder his entire family, I sat up and took notice. Because, hey, what am I if not family?

Let's start with some tough love. You two suck at peddling meth. Period.

Make hay while the sun is still shining.

Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?