Quotes and Sayings about Sarcasm

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

What? Scott, come on. I'm 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone, okay? Sarcasm is my only defense.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the World.

Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor.

Ellie: "Did everyone have boats back then?"
Joel: "Yeah. I had a sixty foot yacht."
Ellie: "Really?"
Joel: "No."
Ellie: "Sarcasm... making progress."

CC: "When do you find out if you got into college early? I would really love to help you pack."
Wyatt: "I detect sarcasm, which is universally regarded as the lowest form of humor."

"Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic."

People who can put on a serious face while joking are the scariest.

I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.

You know what's never saved the planet? Your sarcasm.

We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

You know, they say sarcasm is a metric for potential. If that's true, you'll be a great man some day.

The most efficient form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids.

If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

He who can make people laugh has to be taken seriously; all people with power know that.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

My parents armed me with an amazing sense of humor, and it's what you need when, well, it's what anyone needs in this world.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Sutton: "Great for Jane, but didn't we stop saying diva like two years ago?"
Kat: "Oh, we're back to saying it ironically."
Sutton: "Our generation is exhausting."

Old age is a wonderful source of irony.

I am known for my sense of irony but even I would not have come to think of putting a Statue of Liberty into the New York Harbour.

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

Definition: What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

The biggest hurdle that our communities have is cynicism - saying it's a done deal, who cares; there's no point to voting.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Leonard: "I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle..."
Sheldon: "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.'"

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

See, that's the problem. You–you don't care about getting hurt. But you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. And if you die, I will literally go out of my freakin' mind. You see, death doesn't happen to you, Lydia. It happens to everyone around you, okay? To all the people left standing at your funeral, trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now without you in it?

Lydia: "Are you okay? I guess you are, aren't you? For someone who would put their own name on a hit-list..."
Meredith: "I had to."
Lydia: "Why?"
Meredith: "Because I heard you-- I heard you scream in the tunnels at Oak Creek. That's why I knew it was the right time... to start over."
Lydia: "But with Peter?"
Meredith: "He's the Alpha. He's always been the Alpha. He'll make it right. It never was for us-- so many people die because of us. We're the monsters. Even Banshees. Even me."
Lydia: "I don't believe that. Not all monsters do monstrous things."
Meredith: "Like who?"
Lydia: "Like Scott"
Meredith: "Like you"

You see things; and you say 'Why?"
But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?"

Lies are comforting. Truth is painful.

I fled out of the deep night - the deep night of the protected child-life , and tugged into the bright Day - the bright day of being-grownup

But I believe in love, you know; love is a uniquely portable magic. I don’t think it’s in the stars, but I do believe that blood calls to blood and mind calls to mind and heart to heart.

If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment... I would do it all over again.

I know you mean well. I know you wanna protect me. You have. And when we're done, we'll go wherever you want. Tommy's, sheep ranch, the moon... I'll follow you anywhere you go. But there's no halfway with this. We finish what we started.

Emma: "How do we play the song without sheet music?"
Bill: "How did Luke Skywalker blow up the Death Star without his computer?"
Emma: "I don't know what that means. I was born in 2008."

"Well," Lockwood said, "if you judge success by the number of enemies you make, that was a highly successful evening."

To be honest, adults are pretty useless. 'Cause of their lack of sensitivity. They just get in the way.

Someday my memories will fade… and her voice, her actions, I might forget them as well. But I will always remember that I loved Saber.

Turns out dad's been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.

Bob: "Hey, no nagging my customers!"
Linda: "Don't you yell at my mother!"
Bob: "What's that, Nagatha Christie?"

Ikaris: "I bet you've built the perfect safe house. And what's this even made of - Vibranium?"
Phastos: "Fall collection. IKEA."

We have watched and guided. We have helped them progress, and seen them accomplish wonders. Throughout the years, we have never interfered. Until now.

Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.

Black Widow: "I don't know, the truth is a matter of circumstances. It's not all things to all people all the time, and neither am I."
Captain America: "That's a tough way to live."
Black Widow: "It's a good way not to die though."

Stark: "Red, green, blue... who paints a button blue?"
Carter: "Don't tell me the American playboy needs help pushing buttons."
Stark: "Hedy Lamarr and I spent a weekend together, but she wasn't teaching me German."