The best Quotes by Sandy Kominsky

The best Quotes by Sandy Kominsky

Babysitter p*rn, stepmom p*rn... what happened to just f*cking the pizza guy?
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 4
Dr. Wexler: "Oh, that's a big, old prostate."
Sandy Kominsky: "Any chance that my ass is just shrinking?"
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 3
Sandy: "Did you know he was at Woodstock?"
Norman: "Oh yeah, in a band?"
Sandy: "No, in the mud."
The Kominsky Method - Season 2 Episode 5
Roz: "Do I need to explain to you what salt does to your body?"
Sandy: "Yeah, why don't you?"
Roz: "All right. It causes the body to hold on to more water, which raises the blood pressure, which puts more strain on the kidneys, the heart, arteries, and the brain. And, for a man of your age, is the kiss of death."
Sandy: "That's pretty scary."
Roz: "Yes, it is."
Sandy: "Now, would you please pass me the salt?"
The Kominsky Method - Season 3 Episode 4
Norman: "Humiliation doesn't bother you, does it?"
Sandy: "I'm an actor."
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 6
Dating advice? Last time you went on a date, Richard Nixon was in office and he was doing well.
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 6
Norman: "I've never been to an Indian casino before."
Sandy: "They're pretty much like a Vegas casino, except they're not overly fond of 'reservations'."
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 6
So what is acting? I mean, when an actor acts, what is he or she... or they actually doing? Well, on one level, the answer is simple. They're making believe. They are pretending. But on a on a much deeper level, we need to ask ourselves what is really happening?
The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 1

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Being human and being hurt are the same damn thing.
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 2
Secretary: "I am so delighted that you're back."
Norman: "Give it time. The feeling will pass."
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 5
Sandy: "Listen, I finally got the urologist on the other line."
Norman: "Wexler? Tell him I hope he gets his index finger caught in a wood chipper!"
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 5
Rabbi: "When you sit shivah for a loved one, all the mirrors in the house are supposed to be covered."
Norman: "I know. I'm just not that kind of Jew."
Rabbi: "Really? And what kind of Jew are you?"
Norman: "I'm, I'm the atheist kind."
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 3
The secret to a happy relationship is that the woman must always feel like she comes first.
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 6
This is what's gonna happen. We're gonna go back in there. We're gonna greet the guests, eat pumpkin ravioli, make a toast. You will dance with your daughter. I will dance with the Pez dispenser, and with any luck, I'll be drunk enough to vomit all over his mother.
Roz in The Kominsky Method - Season 3 Episode 6
Receptionist: "Horses are very spiritual animals, and they help our patients in their path to recovery."
Norman: "Ah. A path filled with horse shit."
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 6
I had a whale of a nap, so I'm good until 10.
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 2 Episode 1
Sandy: "We'll set up a payment plan, say, a thousand dollars a month."
Norman: "Math isn't really your strong suit, is it?"
Sandy: "Why?"
Norman: "Why? That's 25 years. You know how old I'll be when you finish paying me off? Dead!"
Sandy: "Okay. How about if I push it up to eleven hundred a month?"
Norman: "Still dead."
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 7
I urinate in Morse code - dots and dashes.
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 2
You know what it's like to be human? Is that something you wanna know? Fine, I'll tell you. It hurts to be human. It hurts like hell. And all the exploring in the world doesn't make that hurt go away. Because being human and being hurt are the same damn thing!
Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method - Season 1 Episode 2
The presidency has many problems, but boredom is the least of them.
If you take no risks, you will suffer no defeats. But if you take no risks, you win no victories.
No event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now.
Only if you have been in the deepest valley, can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
The Cold War isn't thawing; it is burning with a deadly heat.
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing

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The Kominsky MethodRichard NixonNorman NewlanderThe best Series QuotesSeries-Quotes