The best Quotes by Roseanne Barr

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

You look like Freddy Krueger face-f*cked a topographical map of Utah.

I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Utah - and that's pretty much the same thing.

You should never trust a woman who just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.

When a woman quits on a man, she either got enough of him or she didn't get enough from him.

A jealous female can be tricked into everything.

The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven't had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.

None of us should accept a future in which our daughters and granddaughters have fewer rights than we did.

The saddest thing a girl can do is dumb herself down for a guy.

It is capitalist America that produced the modern independent woman. Never in history have women had more freedom of choice in regard to dress, behavior, career, and sexual orientation.

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men; they are far superior and always have been.

Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.

Children have got to be free to lead their own lives.

As a man, I've been representative of the values I hold dear. And the values I hold dear are carryovers from the lives of my parents.

We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.

Your laugh is the reason your parents never tickled you growing up.