The best Quotes from Ron's Gone Wrong

Savannah: "To the woods? There are evil clowns in there, Barney. Their heads go all the way around."
Barney: "That's owls, Savannah."

Barney: "I just... the goat's wool and my allergies."
Donka: "Oh, no, no, no. No one in Pudowski family have allergy."
Graham: "What about Uncle Boris?"
Donka: "He was possessed. By a demon in a cashew."

Look! It's naked. Yo, I can see its ro-butt. Get it?

Three month wait? What is this? Stalinist Russia?

Once, I mend my own hernia with bread knife and vodka.

Barney, your B-BOT is like super weird. Making friends is what he's for. If he can't do that, he's like literally pointless.

Barney: "The B-BOT, there's something wrong with it. It's not meant to do that!"
B-BOT: "I'm not meant to do that."

Imagine a device that is the fastest, most advanced, complex piece of technology in the world. But what if it wasn't just a device? What if it was your new best friend?
Introducing the B-BOT. It connects you to the world like never before. Express yourself, imagine without limits! Create, play, and enter a new world of friendship. The B-BOT. Let's make friends.

I have to see myself naked! That's all that counts. If I'm not happy with my naked body, who will be?

I think shoulders are sexier than cleavage.

I'm kind of shocked I'm getting a fashion award when I'm naked most of the time.

You don't have to be naked to be sexy.

We are all born naked into this world, but each of us is fully clothed in potential.

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

Excuse me? Was there any reason to know Miley Cyrus before she was swinging naked on a wrecking ball?

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Alan: "Charlie, there's a half naked woman in our kitchen!"
Charlie: "Which half?"

I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it: Buck-naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.

I will escape for every innocent woman whose life was stolen.

Elodie, you join a long line of women who have helped to build this kingdom. It is this sacrifice we commemorate every generation. A tradition going back centuries. A legacy of honor and duty you now inherit.

I need you to listen to me now. I don't trust them. They may be royalty, but that doesn't make them good people.

Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain. The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion... and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself - ultimate cost for perfect value.

Dizzy: "My mother always told me that violence doesn't solve anything."
Jean Rasczak: "Really? I wonder what the city founders of Hiroshima would have to say about that."
Carmen: "They wouldn't say anything. Hiroshima was destroyed."
Jean Rasczak: "Correct. Naked force has resolved more conflicts throughout history than any other factor. The contrary opinion, that violence doesn't solve anything, is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always die."

I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better.

Someone asked me once if I knew the difference between a civilian and a citizen. I know now. A citizen has the courage to make the safety of the human race their personal responsibility. Dizzy was my friend. She was a soldier. But most important, she was a citizen of the Federation.

This is for all you new people. I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll kill you myself! Welcome to the Roughnecks!

Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out.

They sucked his brains out.

Your little cinematic universe is about to change forever. I'm the Messiah. I am Marvel Jesus!

Paradox: "Mr. Wilson. You have appeared to have soiled yourself while unconscious."
Wade Wilson: "I wasn't unconscious. Who are you?"

Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn't new for me, friendo, but it is for Disney.