Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.
There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes.