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Quote by Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
Ron Swanson
in
Parks and Recreation
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I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson
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- Season 3 Episode 2
There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Ron Swanson
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Milk
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.
Ron Swanson
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Ice Cream
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
Ron Swanson
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Vodka
Tequila
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.
Ron Swanson
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Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
Ann Perkins
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- Season 4 Episode 7
Sports
Jogging
One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford
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- Season 5 Episode 19
What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.
Leslie Knope
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I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
Leslie Knope
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Wine
I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Leslie Knope
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No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.
Leslie Knope
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Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.
Leslie Knope
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The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
Leslie Knope
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I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.
April Ludgate
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Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.
April Ludgate
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I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.
April Ludgate
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Parks and Recreation
- Season 4 Episode 21
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
Tom Haverford
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Parks and Recreation
I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Tom Haverford
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Parks and Recreation
I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
Tom Haverford
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- Season 3 Episode 13
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!
Ann Perkins
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Halloween
Related pages
Ron Swanson
Parks and Recreation
Leslie Knope
April Ludgate
Tom Haverford
Ann Perkins
Series-Quotes
Ron Swanson
Parks and Recreation