Quote by Rodney Dangerfield (about Halloween)

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield (about Halloween)

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Rodney Dangerfield

You might like these Quotes aswell

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

Reducing Weight Fat People

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Rodney Dangerfield

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

Rodney Dangerfield

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Rodney Dangerfield

Uncles & Aunties

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield

That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing.

Sebastian Wilder in La La Land

1

Welcome to a city where people trying to disappear aren't actually trying.

Joe Goldberg in You - Season 2 Episode 2

1

I lived in L.A. for a few months. It seemed like no one there had parents. Or if they did have parents, they would deny it.

Catherine O'Hara

1

Linda: "Why did you decide to come to Los Angeles?"
Lucifer: "The same reason as everyone else: the weather, p*rnstars, Mexican food."

Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 1 Episode 3

1

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.

Craig Kilborn

Los Angeles was the kind of place where everybody was from somewhere else and nobody really droppped anchor.

Michael Connelly in The Lincoln Lawyer - The Brass Verdict

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Gloria Swanson

1

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

Linus Torvalds

California Helsinki

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Joan Didion

Halloween. The one day of the year it's socially acceptable to play dress-up. The only question is, who do you want to be? There are costumes to make men feel like boys again. Or turn little girls into queens.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

3

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

Kim Jong Un North Korea

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Felix Lobrecht

2

Berlin Munich Oktoberfest

To never be sick can't be healthy.

Karl Valentin

Illness & Sickness

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

1

Atheism Santa Claus Hölle

Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

Bill Murray

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Robin Williams

This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Jan Böhmermann - February 2022

Vladimir Putin Russia-Ukraine War

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Steve Harvey - February 2021

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

Gossip & Rumors

Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

Dave Chappelle

The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

Oliver Welke in heute-show - Sendung vom 24.04.2020

Donald Trump Corona-Jokes

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

1

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

1

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Related pages

Rodney Dangerfield

Los Angeles

The best Quotes by Comedians

Olaf Schubert

Felix Lobrecht

Karl Valentin

Ricky Gervais

Bill Murray