Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield was an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice artist, filmmaker, musician and author known for his self-deprecating one-liners humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He began his career working as a stand-up comic in the Borscht Belt resorts of the Catskill Mountains north of New York City.

Rodney Dangerfield belongs to the following category: Comedians

The best Quotes and Sayings

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

MarriageRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Reducing WeightRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

WomenRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

CocktailsRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

HalloweenRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment