Quote by Robert California (about Florida)

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

Robert California in The Office - Season 8 Episode 11

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We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

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All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

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Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."

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If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

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You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.

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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

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Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 22

What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 8 Episode 3

I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 8 Episode 7

Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
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Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
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Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."

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I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

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I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

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Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
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Michael: "Money!"
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In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.

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When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commercials, then I realized I had a brain.

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Pam: "We got you this."
Michael: "Oh, vino."
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Do you not answer emails anymore? Because I've emailed you four times asking you to come to my desk.

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If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

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Quote by Robert California (about Florida)

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