The best Quotes by Robert California

The best Quotes by Robert California

Robert California, also known as Bob Kazamakis, and The Lizard King, is a fictional character on the U.S. comedy television series The Office, portrayed by James Spader.

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.
The Office - Season 8 Episode 11

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California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022
New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.
Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5
We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.
All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.
1
Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.
The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.
Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.
Silk Spectre in Watchmen -
1
I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.
That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.
Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11
2
Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."
Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16
1
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.
Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25
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You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.
Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 9
1
I feel weak today. I felt much stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.
Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 22
1
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
1
I grew up in Florida, where if you weren't comfortable dancing, you weren't going to get any girls.
Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."
Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 22
Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.
Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16
What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.
Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 8 Episode 3
What's the argument here? NBA. WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.
Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 7 Episode 23
I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.
Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 8 Episode 7
I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding CeCe, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest - if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.
Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9
Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
Pam: "It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, CeCe drinks it six hours later."
Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
Pam: "Well, it does and it doesn't."
Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25
It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.
Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 6 Episode 22
Michael: "Phyllis did injure herself, but she injured herself having fun and I don't think she'd trade that memory for anything."
Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."
Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 27
I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. You think my nipples don't get sore too?
Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 4
Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
Stanley: "You don't have our attention."
Michael: "Money!"
Stanley: "I'm listening."
Kevin: "You had me at 'Sex'."
Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9
Creed: "I've never seen herpes on you."
Meredith: "'Cause it's on my genitals, genius."
Kevin: "You have a p-nis?"
Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 4
I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?
Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know that impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.
Ryan Howard in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16
Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch.
Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21
This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.
Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 3 Episode 18
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office.
Andy Bernard in The Office - Season 4 Episode 2
What did I say? I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.
Kelly Kapoor in The Office - Season 7 Episode 2
I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.
Deangelo Vickers in The Office - Season 7 Episode 20
There are plenty of people who love touching me. I'm a terrific hugger. I've been with a bunch of girls where that's basically all they wanna do.
Gabe Lewis in The Office - Season 7 Episode 26
In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.
Meredith Palmer in The Office - Season 2 Episode 15
Karen Filippelli: "You can't give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow."
Creed Bratton: "Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of 'em."
Creed Bratton in The Office - Season 3 Episode 9
1
When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more.
Karen Filippelli in The Office - Season 3 Episode 18
Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

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