Quotes by Ricky Gervais

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.

Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right!

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say, "Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?" If they say, "Just God. I only believe in the one God", I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do if you're rational.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.

Why buy a book when you can join a library?

Same-sex marriage isn't a gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.

Famous people are above the law.

I've never been insulted by hateful Satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer.

I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself.

Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years' time, that wouldn't come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they'd all be back because all the tests would be the same result.

Imagine if you carried on believing in Santa and the tooth fairy into adulthood. And even killed and started wars over it. Imagine that.

It's a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It's the opposite. We have nothing to die for, we have everything to live for.

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening - everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that'.