Quote by Rick Sanchez (about Amazon)

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 10

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You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 1

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 10

Weddings Pies & Cakes

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 5

A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 and it breaks the front page of Reddit. But I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 9

Charles Manson

To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 2

Risk Wise Sayings

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Love

So you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Did your dad write this game?

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 10

Minecraft

I know that new situations can be intimidating. You look around, and it's all scary and different. But meeting them head-on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 1

Sometimes science is more art than science.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Science

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 3

Thanksgiving

8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Batman Zack Snyder Pizza

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Die Hard

Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 9

Mountain Dew

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 8

Jerry: "Space sperm? Sperm from... space?"
Rick: "Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Planetina: "Your acid rain is an acid pain... in the butt, Diesel Wiesel!"
Rick: "Yikes! Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Mr. Nimbus: "Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!"
Rick: "Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

Mr. Nimbus

Morty: "So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?"
Rick: "I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

I wouldn't lie to you. Well... that's a lie.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5

Summer: "Someone out there is trying to kill us."
Rick: "Someone's always trying to kill us."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5

Morty: "I have English homework."
Rick: "You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Grammar

Jerry: "Rick! Beth! You love me after all!"
Rick: "Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "What are they mad at you for, anyway?"
Rick: "Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5

Morty: "I don't deserve this. I was just having fun."
Rick: "So was Jeffrey Dahmer."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Jeffrey Dahmer

Alien: "I was just reading you."
Rick: "Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

You don't get to tell me what to look at, I've seen your P*rnhub account! Also, who makes a P*rnhub account?

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

Sorry, got caught up again. God, do I need to take more Adderall or am I taking too much Adderall?

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

Morty: "I don't like how meta this is getting, Rick."
Rick: "Shut up, Morty, you're 14. You watch videos of people on YouTube reacting to f*cking YouTube. I'll be the judge of when we get too meta."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 6

YouTube

Morty: "Mom told me she wanted me to stay here to make sure you didn't die."
Jerry: "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine."
Rick: "Don't train your child to lie, Jerry."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 5

Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Jan in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 7

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Summer Smith

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Portland

Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

There are two kinds of companies; those that work to try to charge more and those that work to charge less. One will be second.

Jeff Bezos (Amazon CEO)

Business Amazon

Miranda: "She didn't even have the balls to tell me she sent it. She just amazoned me."
Carrie: "Amazoned me? Did you just make that up?"

Carrie Bradshaw in And Just Like That... - Season 1 Episode 5

Amazon

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Teenagers

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

Morty Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 2

No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 6

Camping is just being homeless... without the change.

Summer Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 9

Camping

If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none. The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

Jessica in American Pie

Time without purpose is a prison.

Jessica in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!

Mr. Nimbus in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

Quote by Rick Sanchez (about Amazon)

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