Quote by Rick Sanchez (Season 4 Episode 5)

Quote by Rick Sanchez (Season 4 Episode 5)

Morty: "I'm dying, Rick!"
Rick: "People who are really dying don't keep bringing it up."
Morty: "Is that true?"
Rick: "I don't know. I'm just usually around people that die faster."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 5

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You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

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Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

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Weddings Pies & Cakes

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

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A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 and it breaks the front page of Reddit. But I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad.

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To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

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Risk Wise Sayings

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

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So you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Did your dad write this game?

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I know that new situations can be intimidating. You look around, and it's all scary and different. But meeting them head-on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people.

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Sometimes science is more art than science.

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If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

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Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

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Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

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8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

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Batman Zack Snyder Pizza

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

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Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 9

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

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Jerry: "Space sperm? Sperm from... space?"
Rick: "Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry."

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Planetina: "Your acid rain is an acid pain... in the butt, Diesel Wiesel!"
Rick: "Yikes! Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Mr. Nimbus: "Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!"
Rick: "Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet."

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Morty: "So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?"
Rick: "I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

I wouldn't lie to you. Well... that's a lie.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5

Summer: "Someone out there is trying to kill us."
Rick: "Someone's always trying to kill us."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 5

Morty: "I have English homework."
Rick: "You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?"

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Jerry: "Rick! Beth! You love me after all!"
Rick: "Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer."

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Morty: "What are they mad at you for, anyway?"
Rick: "Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything."

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Morty: "I don't deserve this. I was just having fun."
Rick: "So was Jeffrey Dahmer."

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Alien: "I was just reading you."
Rick: "Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there."

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

You don't get to tell me what to look at, I've seen your P*rnhub account! Also, who makes a P*rnhub account?

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

Sorry, got caught up again. God, do I need to take more Adderall or am I taking too much Adderall?

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Morty: "I don't like how meta this is getting, Rick."
Rick: "Shut up, Morty, you're 14. You watch videos of people on YouTube reacting to f*cking YouTube. I'll be the judge of when we get too meta."

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Morty: "Mom told me she wanted me to stay here to make sure you didn't die."
Jerry: "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine."
Rick: "Don't train your child to lie, Jerry."

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Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Jan in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 7

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

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"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

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Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

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Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

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Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

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Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

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No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

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Camping is just being homeless... without the change.

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If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none. The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

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Time without purpose is a prison.

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Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!

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If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

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