The best Quotes by Rick Sanchez

You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 1

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 10

Weddings Pies & Cakes

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 5

A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 and it breaks the front page of Reddit. But I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad.

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 9

Charles Manson

To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 2

Risk Wise Sayings

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Love

So you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Did your dad write this game?

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 10

Minecraft

I know that new situations can be intimidating. You look around, and it's all scary and different. But meeting them head-on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people.

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 1

Sometimes science is more art than science.

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Science

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 10

Amazon

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 3

Thanksgiving

8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Batman Zack Snyder Pizza

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 2

Die Hard

Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 9

Mountain Dew

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 8

Jerry: "Space sperm? Sperm from... space?"
Rick: "Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry."

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Planetina: "Your acid rain is an acid pain... in the butt, Diesel Wiesel!"
Rick: "Yikes! Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?"

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 3

Mr. Nimbus: "Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!"
Rick: "Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet."

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

Mr. Nimbus

Morty: "So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?"
Rick: "I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing."

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 1

I wouldn't lie to you. Well... that's a lie.

Rick and Morty - Season 5

Summer: "Someone out there is trying to kill us."
Rick: "Someone's always trying to kill us."

Rick and Morty - Season 5

Morty: "I have English homework."
Rick: "You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?"

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Grammar

Jerry: "Rick! Beth! You love me after all!"
Rick: "Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer."

Rick and Morty - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "What are they mad at you for, anyway?"
Rick: "Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything."

Rick and Morty - Season 5

Morty: "I don't deserve this. I was just having fun."
Rick: "So was Jeffrey Dahmer."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Jeffrey Dahmer

Alien: "I was just reading you."
Rick: "Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

You don't get to tell me what to look at, I've seen your P*rnhub account! Also, who makes a P*rnhub account?

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

Sorry, got caught up again. God, do I need to take more Adderall or am I taking too much Adderall?

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 7

Morty: "I don't like how meta this is getting, Rick."
Rick: "Shut up, Morty, you're 14. You watch videos of people on YouTube reacting to f*cking YouTube. I'll be the judge of when we get too meta."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 6

YouTube

Morty: "Mom told me she wanted me to stay here to make sure you didn't die."
Jerry: "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine."
Rick: "Don't train your child to lie, Jerry."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 5

Morty: "I'm dying, Rick!"
Rick: "People who are really dying don't keep bringing it up."
Morty: "Is that true?"
Rick: "I don't know. I'm just usually around people that die faster."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 5

Morty: "Why don't you admit you don't want anyone else to be happy because you're a sad old fart?"
Rick: "How do you saddle a fart?"

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 4

Dragon: "My name is Balthromaw. Breaker of skies, slayer of mountain."
Rick: "Rule 1: You're now scooper of your own poops, or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 4

You know who's into dragons, Morty? Nerds who refuse to admit they're Christian.

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 4

Dragons

Rick: "Guests are fans, Morty, which we are not. We'd like professional badges."
"Do you have a crew?"
Rick: "Yes. He's a getaway driver with Asperger's and my butt is a demolitions expert."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 3

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick solo adventure to go on - and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard.

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 2

Ron Howard

Oh, boy, so you actually learned something today? What is this, Full House?

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 1

Morty: "You're really this pissed about my mum making sure I'm okay with our adventures?"
Rick: "What's next, Morty? What if I want you to jump off the Empire State Building? I have to ask?"

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 1

Rick: "Hey Morty, quick favor."
Morty: "What, cover me in gasoline and spiders? Fine, yeah, I'm in."
Rick: "Wasn't my first pitch but hey, not gonna waste this opportunity."

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 1

Morty: "Rick, can we not leave without my sister?"
Rick: "Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. Not that I want to spend the rest of my day looking for another one. Sum-Sum, let's go! Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting."

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 2

So you're half cold, unfeeling reptile, half also cold, equally unfeeling machine? Wow, so your origin is what? You fell into a vat of redundancy?

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 4

What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: don't think about it.

Rick and Morty

Adolf Hitler

Morty, he's not gonna donate. You're pitching the police men's ball to a black teenager here.

Rick and Morty - Season 3 Episode 7

There's no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. It's about execution.

Rick and Morty - Season 4 Episode 8

Ideas

Rick: "F*ck you, Summer! And f the government. And f*ck me for letting my car down, which I will never do again."
Morty: "Jeez, Rick. You can't say f*ck you to your grand-daughter!"
Rick: "I just did, Morty. Here's dessert: F*ck you!"

Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 10

You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? You know what those guys do in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip them in cocaine and wipe them all over each other.

Rick and Morty - Season 2 Episode 2

Wall Street Cocaine

Jerry: "Well, traditionally, science faires are a father-son thing."
Rick: "Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing."

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 9

You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake!

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 6

Jerry: "You don't, by any chance, have some sort of crazy science thing you could wrap up, that might help make this dog a little smarter?"
Rick: "I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread."

Rick and Morty - Season 1 Episode 2

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Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Jan in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 7

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 6

Summer Smith

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Beth Smith in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 5

Portland

And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up!

Alfred in Batman - Begins

Giving Up Beginning

The best Quotes by Rick Sanchez

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