Quotes from Rick and Morty (Page 2)

You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? You know what those guys do in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip them in cocaine and wipe them all over each other.

Jerry: "Well, traditionally, science faires are a father-son thing."
Rick: "Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing."

You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake!

Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.

Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my penis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."

Sometimes science is more art than science.

Beth: "Do you want homeless people to have homes?"
Jerry: "Yes."
Beth: "Are you gonna build them?"
Jerry: "No."
Beth: "Then what good was the 'yes'?"

Jerry: "You don't, by any chance, have some sort of crazy science thing you could wrap up, that might help make this dog a little smarter?"
Rick: "I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread."

I thought I was the inventor, but the greatest invention of all is the free gift of eternal life.

Everyone pretend podcasting isn't boring!

You're like Hitler! But even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Jerry: "Why Florida?"
Cat: "Because they don't ask questions. They play Volleyball, they party and they have fun."