Morty, he's not gonna donate. You're pitching the police men's ball to a black teenager here.
Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 3 Episode 7To live is to risk it all. Otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.
RiskRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 3 Episode 2There's no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. It's about execution.
IdeasRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 4 Episode 8Rick: "F you, Summer! And f the government. And f me for letting my car down, which I will never do again."
Morty: "Jeez, Rick. You can't say FU to your grand-daughter!"
Rick: "I just did, Morty. Here's dessert: F you!"
You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? You know what those guys do in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip them in cocaine and wipe them all over each other.
Wall Street, CocaineRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 2 Episode 2Jerry: "Well, traditionally, science faires are a father-son thing."
Rick: "Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing."
You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake!
Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 6Listen, Morty. I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'Love' is just a chemical reaction that compells animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades.
LoveRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 6Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my penis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."
Sometimes science is more art than science.
ScienceRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 6Beth: "Do you want homeless people to have homes?"
Jerry: "Yes."
Beth: "Are you gonna build them?"
Jerry: "No."
Beth: "Then what good was the 'yes'?"
Jerry: "You don't, by any chance, have some sort of crazy science thing you could wrap up, that might help make this dog a little smarter?"
Rick: "I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread."
I thought I was the inventor, but the greatest invention of all is the free gift of eternal life.
Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 4 Episode 6Everyone pretend podcasting isn't boring!
Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 4 Episode 7You're like Hitler! But even Hitler cared about Germany or something.
Adolf HitlerMorty Smith in Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 1Jerry: "Why Florida?"
Cat: "Because they don't ask questions. They play Volleyball, they party and they have fun."