The best Quotes from Rick and Morty

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick Sanchez - Season 6 Episode 10

Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Jan - Season 6 Episode 7

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Rick Sanchez - Season 6 Episode 6

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

Beth Smith - Season 6 Episode 6

Summer Smith

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Beth Smith - Season 6 Episode 5

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Beth Smith - Season 6 Episode 5

Portland

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

Rick Sanchez - Season 6 Episode 3

Thanksgiving

8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

Rick Sanchez - Season 6 Episode 2

Batman Zack Snyder Pizza

Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

Summer Smith - Season 6 Episode 2

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

Rick Sanchez - Season 6 Episode 2

Die Hard

Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 9

Mountain Dew

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 8

No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

Summer Smith - Season 5 Episode 6

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

Morty Smith - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Beth Smith - Season 5 Episode 4

Jerry: "Space sperm? Sperm from... space?"
Rick: "Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Beth Smith - Season 5 Episode 3

Teenagers

Planetina: "Your acid rain is an acid pain... in the butt, Diesel Wiesel!"
Rick: "Yikes! Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 3

Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

Morty Smith - Season 5 Episode 2

Time without purpose is a prison.

Jessica - Season 5 Episode 1

Mr. Nimbus: "Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!"
Rick: "Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 1

Mr. Nimbus

Those called "fools" are the only ones brave enough to see the truth.

Season 5 Episode 1

Morty: "So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?"
Rick: "I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 1

I wouldn't lie to you. Well... that's a lie.

Rick Sanchez - Season 5

Summer: "Someone out there is trying to kill us."
Rick: "Someone's always trying to kill us."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5

Morty: "I have English homework."
Rick: "You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 8

Grammar

Jerry: "Rick! Beth! You love me after all!"
Rick: "Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5 Episode 4

Morty: "What are they mad at you for, anyway?"
Rick: "Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything."

Rick Sanchez - Season 5

Richard, you have desecrated the sacred treaty betwixt land and sea. Now face the wrath of your once and eternal foe - Mr. Nimbus!

Mr. Nimbus - Season 5 Episode 1

I had nothing but time. Endless time. At first, it was madness. Then enlightment. Then madness again. But perhaps it was a gift. I could see the life of time. And as I watched the life of time in all its fleeting, terrible light, I wondered, had I lived? Was I just the object in another's story? Was that all I ever was? Could I be more? I had nothing but time and still no answer. Time without purpose is a prison. I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity. Perhaps the mind of God. And found nothing but silence.

Jessica - Season 5 Episode 1

Camping is just being homeless... without the change.

Summer Smith - Season 4 Episode 9

Camping

Morty: "I don't deserve this. I was just having fun."
Rick: "So was Jeffrey Dahmer."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 8

Jeffrey Dahmer

If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences.

Morty Smith - Season 4 Episode 8

Alien: "I was just reading you."
Rick: "Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 7

You don't get to tell me what to look at, I've seen your P*rnhub account! Also, who makes a P*rnhub account?

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 7

Sorry, got caught up again. God, do I need to take more Adderall or am I taking too much Adderall?

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 7

Morty: "I don't like how meta this is getting, Rick."
Rick: "Shut up, Morty, you're 14. You watch videos of people on YouTube reacting to f*cking YouTube. I'll be the judge of when we get too meta."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 6

YouTube

Morty: "Mom told me she wanted me to stay here to make sure you didn't die."
Jerry: "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine."
Rick: "Don't train your child to lie, Jerry."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 5

Morty: "I'm dying, Rick!"
Rick: "People who are really dying don't keep bringing it up."
Morty: "Is that true?"
Rick: "I don't know. I'm just usually around people that die faster."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 5

Morty: "Why don't you admit you don't want anyone else to be happy because you're a sad old fart?"
Rick: "How do you saddle a fart?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 4

Dragon: "My name is Balthromaw. Breaker of skies, slayer of mountain."
Rick: "Rule 1: You're now scooper of your own poops, or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 4

You know who's into dragons, Morty? Nerds who refuse to admit they're Christian.

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 4

Dragons

Rick: "Guests are fans, Morty, which we are not. We'd like professional badges."
"Do you have a crew?"
Rick: "Yes. He's a getaway driver with Asperger's and my butt is a demolitions expert."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 3

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick solo adventure to go on - and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard.

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 2

Ron Howard

Oh, boy, so you actually learned something today? What is this, Full House?

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 1

Morty: "You're really this pissed about my mum making sure I'm okay with our adventures?"
Rick: "What's next, Morty? What if I want you to jump off the Empire State Building? I have to ask?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 1

Rick: "Hey Morty, quick favor."
Morty: "What, cover me in gasoline and spiders? Fine, yeah, I'm in."
Rick: "Wasn't my first pitch but hey, not gonna waste this opportunity."

Rick Sanchez - Season 4 Episode 1

So you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with? Did your dad write this game?

Rick Sanchez - Season 3 Episode 10

Minecraft

Summer: "It is a hot photo. I think grief flushes her cheeks. Dad, you hardly put any sirup on."
Beth: "Honey, stop raising your father's colesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie."
Summer: "I never get to do anything."

Summer Smith - Season 4 Episode 1

I know that new situations can be intimidating. You look around, and it's all scary and different. But meeting them head-on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people.

Rick Sanchez - Season 1 Episode 1

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You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Rick Sanchez - Season 2 Episode 1

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Rick Sanchez - Season 2 Episode 10

Weddings Pies & Cakes

Rick: "If it's all the same, could we still get our stories straight? Because you're a terrible liar."
Jerry: "You called me a master convincer!"
Rick: "You believed me?"

Rick Sanchez - Season 3 Episode 5

Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my p-nis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."

Beth Smith - Season 1 Episode 6

Ernest Hemingway

The best Quotes from Rick and Morty

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