The best Quotes by Richard Simmons

No tricks, gimmicks, special pills, special potions, special equipment. All it takes is desire and will.

No one is perfect... absolutely no one. Like precious stones, we have a few flaws, but why focus on that? Focus on what you like about yourself, and that will bring you happiness and peace.

I don't know about you, but every time some joker points me out as I walk through an airport wearing extra-small Dolfin shorts, a tank top and leg warmers, I get a little upset.

Number one, like yourself. Number two, you have to eat healthy. And number three, you've got to squeeze your buns. That's my formula.

When I go to bed at night, I ask God to give me another day; I ask him to keep me strong and make me a good teacher and to keep spreading this right word.

Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?
One Mississippi.

What's the loneliest place in all of Louisiana?
Bayou Self

Hurricane Katrina was the storm of the 21st century. It devastated an area the size of Great Britain. More than 1,800 Americans died. Three hundred thousand homes were destroyed. There was $96 billion in property damage. I served on the Louisiana Recovery Authority. I saw Congress write one big check and then skip town.

Black bandana, sweet Louisiana
Robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way sayin', 'Baby, what you gonna- ?'
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45
Just another way to survive

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Louisiana - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.

Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!

I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.

Eddie: "Urkel, why don't you ever knock?"
Steve Urkel: "Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in."

Laura: "Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!"
Steve Urkel: "You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!"

Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

Laura: "How long have we known each other?"
Steve Urkel: "Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds."

I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!"
Steve Urkel: "Great, maybe I'll stay a while."

Edward: "I still got a chance, it's between me and two other guys. They're better with the hose, but I'm the smartest."
Laura: "And they find their way to work every morning?"

Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast, you're the only man I know who burns Jell-O.

Laura: "Hide-and-seek, that's it."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name."

Edward: "That's it. I've had it with that dog."
Harriette: "What happened?"
Edward: "Look what he did to my algebra homework!"
Harriette: "Tell your teacher your dog ate it."
Edward: "I can't, I used that excuse before we got the dog."

Steve Urkel: "Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Did you think of me while you guys were camping?"
Laura Winslow: "Yeah, every time I used the bug spray."

Estelle Winslow: "Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?"
Steve Urkel: "Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends."

Anything is possible if you got enough nerve.

To me, the very definition of the word "broken" suggests that something can be fixed.

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.

Judy Winslow: "Mom, when's dinner? We're starved."
Harriette: "Soon, baby. Your dad's runnin' late."
Laura: "Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke!"

Lt. Murtaugh: "They're sending in that Urkel kid."
Carl Winslow: "What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him."

It's been the honor of my lifetime to serve as your president. I love the job - but I love my country more.

I am sorry on behalf of most, if not close to all, of Australia at this point. I'm sorry about Raygun and that we broke dancing.