The only thing doing any real work around here is Dusty's insulin pump.Randall Crawford in Paradise PD, Season 1 Episode 1
Randall: "Alright Kevin, pull your pants down!"
Kevin: "Dad, why?"
Randall: "We're gonna rub our dicks together and make a fire."
Kevin: "Dad, you rub sticks together!"
Randall: "Oh. Well, I guess I was molested as a child then."
Fitz: "Where's the bomb-defusing robot?"
Randall: "Too expensive. We just go under a bridge, deputize a hobo, and send him in there."
Randall: "I thought you said he was a doctor?"
Dinkle: "Dentists are doctors!"
Randall: "Yeah, and birds are books. What a loser."
Kevin: "I failed you, dad. I should hand in my badge - and my crossing guard uniform."
Randall: "Kevin. Why the hell would I want those!?"
Randall: "Do you know how much damage you did to that video store?"
Kevin: "Nine dollars?"