The best Quotes and Sayings (Page 6)

Here you can find all the quotes and sayings that our community has collected. No matter if funny quotes, quotes about love or sayings - everythings comes together here. Come around whenever you feel like it und discover dayly new quotes, sayings and pieces of wisdom, or register to add your own quotes. Have fun browsing around!

List of all authors

The best Quotes and Sayings

Remember that no matter what, you're 100% valid to be comfortable with who you share your love and affection with.

Karl Jacobs, June 2021
 
Comment 

Ham-ilton? What's that about? A pig?

Karl Jacobs, September 2020
 
Comment 

Sapnap's camera is as good as his chances of finding someone that will be a better match for him than me.

Karl Jacobs, September 2020
 
Comment 

I used to think dolphins were just girl sharks.

Karl Jacobs
 
Comment 

I used to think tigers were girl lions.

Karl Jacobs
 
Comment 

The real life version of texture packs is putting on glasses but you guys dont wanna hear that.

Karl Jacobs, August 2020
 
Comment 

When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?

Journalism, FactsJon Stewart
 
Comment 

We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

EarthJon Stewart
 
Comment 

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

OilJon Stewart
 
Comment 

If "con" is the opposite of "pro", then isn't "congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Jon Stewart
 
Comment 

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

CanadaJon Stewart
 
Comment 

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

ReligionJon Stewart
 
Comment 

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

InternetJon Stewart, September 2005
 
Comment 

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

Religion, SnakesJon Stewart
 
Comment 

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

Jon Stewart
 
Comment 

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

Jon Stewart
 
Comment 

We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.

Jon Stewart
 
Comment 

We believe the metaverse will be the successor to the mobile internet, we'll be able to feel present - like we're right there with people no matter how far apart we actually are.

Mark Zuckerberg, October 2021
 
Comment 

No matter what happens, music will always play an important role in my life. Even when I don't earn money off of it.

Álvaro Soler, October 2021
 
Comment 

You have to feel it to make it work. Stop looking for success. Success will come when the music and the connection between music and the people is right.

Álvaro Soler, July 2021
 
Comment 

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

ThanksgivingUnknown
 
Comment 

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump
May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize
And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!

ThanksgivingUnknown, Thanksgiving Poem
 
Comment 

Black Friday: The day where people spend money they don't have for things they don't need.

Black FridayUnknown
 
Comment 

I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

ThanksgivingJon Stewart
 
Comment 

They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting, like say, Turkeypocalypse.

ThanksgivingUnknown
 
Comment 

Black Friday! Save 100% on everything - by not buying anything.

Black FridayUnknown
 
Comment 

Starbucks is planning to sell beer and wine. Seems like selling $10 coffee to sober customers gets harder every day.

StarbucksUnknown
 
Comment 

Let's not be superstitious - it brings bad luck.

SuperstitionUnknown
 
Comment 

Friday the 13th.
Today, everyone thinks that their stupidity is just bad luck.

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

If you think Friday the 13th is scary, try a day without coffee. That's scary!

Coffee, Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whichever.

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

The only thing that's unlucky about Friday the 13th is that on the 16th, it's Monday again.

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

"Oh my God, today's Friday the 13th. Do you know what that means?"
"It's the weekend tomorrow?"
"Exactly!"

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

I don't care that it's Friday the 13th today - at least it's finally Friday!

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

I don't care that it's Friday the 13th. I'm unlucky on every day anyway.

Friday the 13thUnknown
 
Comment 

I only drink with people I like. When meeting people I don't like, I drink right before.

AlcoholKlaus Kinski
 
Comment 

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

MarriageRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Reducing WeightRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

WomenRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

There's something that's sexy about a guy who has the strength to kill somebody, but is also vulnerable enough to be in love.

Evan Peters
1
Comment 

But I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.

HalloweenEvan Peters
 
Comment 

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

CocktailsRodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 

Usually, I'm an over-thinker.

Evan Peters
1
Comment 

I'm not very good at dating.

Evan Peters
 
Comment 

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Rodney Dangerfield
 
Comment 
Quotes 251 to 300 of 148661345678910298