Quotes that lisa.ro.79230 loves:
If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. [Sirius Black]0
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring.
Renewed shall be blade that was broken
The crownless again shall be king.
Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.0
Barney: 'Our wedding is gonna be legendary.'
Robin: 'No wait for it?'
Barney: 'I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.'
My metabolism is all messed up. See, I can moose down a pint of fudge ripple for a midnight snack and wake up having lost weight. Well, everywhere except for my boobs. So annoying.0
This sacred text was eventually brought to the New World in 1776 by none other than Christopher Brolumbus. And that's why he got to bang Pocahontas.0
I'm also pleased to announce The Bro Code is now available in select airlines across the country. And Lufthansa. 'Der Bro Code' is, like, huge in Germany.0
Lily: 'Just be yourself. Say something nice.'
Robin: 'Which one? I can't do both.'
I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.Falling in love0
It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.Heart, Breakup & Lovesick0
Because you are beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence.0
I'll fight it. I'll fight it for you. Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace. I'm okay. I'll find a way to hang around and annoy you for a long time.0
Trust no one. Not even your own feelings.Trust0
For some women it was the ashes of my parents. For others it was the trophy from Wimbledon and believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both. Game, enormous set and match!0
Barney: 'I had a drinking game based on Robin. But it was actually ON Robin: I'd pour peach schnapps in her belly button...'
Ted: 'Dude, we agreed we wouldn't do this.'
Barney: 'Sorry. You're right. She didn't like it anyway. Said it woke her up.'
Fine, you guys can have a baby, but only under these conditions:
1) You promise to always love me more than the baby.
2) Once a month, I get to use the baby to pick up chicks.
3) That may involve the baby falling from a two-story window and me heroically catching it.
4) No breast-feeding in front of me.
5) Forget about 4), you can whip 'em out whenever you want.
There is only one street where that is normal. Here's a hint: A giant yellow bird lives on it.Street0
So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients, that's normal. But to do it for real? Little creepy bro.0
Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all downhill from here.0
Doctor: 'Don't worry, it's totally safe. Unless part of your big date involves connecting yourself to a car battery.'
Barney: 'Well, now it doesn't.'
We just don't wanna rush anything, okay? We decided to wait, until she decides to let me have sex with her.0
Hey kid, you know how your mom won't let you have icecream 'til after dinner, but then the waiting kind of makes it taste better? Well, I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream - and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.0
Ted: 'First it was too much eye-contact, then not enough - where do you look during sex?'
Barney: 'Into the hidden camera at future me, watching it.'
You could help a friend, but instead you're choosing the hot girl in the tight tank-top. Your training is complete, I'm so proud of this kid!0
Think of the pickup plays we can run as a father-son duo. There's the 'Father Knows Breast', there's the 'Bush Dynasty', the 'Lick Father, Lick Son'.0
Robin: 'I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?'
Barney: 'I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.'
So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.0
Ted: 'Barney! I'm allowed to miss them, okay? They're my two best friends.'
Barney: 'I'm your two best friends!'
Yes! Tonight is gonna be Legen... wait, are we sure it's a good idea to go to a strip club? Shut up, Lily! I'm in charge now... Dary!0
It's 'The Little Engine with Wood', 'The Whore-ient Express', 'The Long Island Tail Road'!0
Ted: 'Oh, screw 'The One'!'
Ted: 'Every date I've been on lately has been brutal. Last week, I went out with a girl whose favorite band was Glee. Plus, it's almost Valentine's Day and I'm alone without anything close to a girlfriend. So... all aboard!'
Barney: 'I have never been more proud of you.'
Damn it, Ted! I was about to drop some sweet word play about logarithms and getting into a rhythm with my log.0
Ted: 'In a city of eight million people, you happened to walk into the club where she works? Maybe it's destiny.'
Barney: 'No, Destiny strips at 'The Melon Patch'. They're people, Ted. Try to keep them straight!'
Fine I'll fill her in and I am so angry I am not even goin' to make a joke about 'filling her in'... which I did three times last night. Self-five!0
I'm KFC baby - you don't mess with the Colonel's recipe!0
Back boobs! The visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style... patent pending.0
For the first time in my life, I don't want to find myself in three years with some random girl. No matter how many boobs she has.0
Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor, or the lawyer. Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.0
If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.0
Marshall: 'Lily dream-banged someone we know.'
Barney: 'Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed. The truth is, I've spent the last five years trying to inception your wife.'
Marshall: 'That movie only came out two years ago.'
Barney: 'What movie?'
From here on in, every single night of our lives will be a night, we'll never forget. Starting tonight!
- The night we started a Mariachi Band!
- The night we ate everything on the menu!
- The night we brought a horse into the bar!
- The night we bungee-jumped off the Statue of Liberty!
- The night we stole a mummy from the Natural History Museum!
- The night we partied with the mole people
- The night we tracked down Phil Collins, became best friends with him, and talked him into reuniting with Peter Gabriel, and then we got to sing back-up on the new Genesis album and it was awesome!
- The night we stole a camel!
- The night you got locked out in your pajamas and Robin landed a freakin' helicopter and there's still time to reunite Genesis!
Quinn: 'What is an executive strategy coordinator?'
Barney: 'It's three corporate-sounding words which, when added together, equal a fake job for which you get a real paycheck.'
You give me one hour of phone-free bro time, during which we, and by we I mean you, get magnificently, mythologically drunk. I'm talking needing-subtitles-when-you-speak drunk.0
Barney: 'How's the single life?'
Ted: 'I wouldn't know. After this whole Robin thing, I'm laying low.'
Barney: 'Laying low as in sleeping with a really short chick? You guys doing thirty-nine?'
Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean.0
Barney: 'Let me choose your child's middle name! Because I have thought up the most awesome name of all time.'
Marshall: 'What's the middle name?'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'I'm waiting.'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'I said I'm waiting.'
Barney: 'Wait for it.'
Marshall: 'What's the middle name?'
Barney: 'No, the middle name is 'Wait For It'. Let's say his first name is, oh, I don't know, 'Barney'. He'd be Barney 'Wait For It' Eriksen. How awesome is that?'
We're going to Buffalo... and I've seen women from there; the city's aptly named.0
This guy he's done everything right. He's been loving and devoted since he was 18 years old. There are only a few truly great people on this planet and he is one of them.0