Profile of JessicaVanessa

Member of thyQuotes since 06/20/2016

Quotes that JessicaVanessa loves:

Quotes 1 to 50 of 1161 of 32 of 33 of 3
Book Quote by John Green from The Fault in Our Stars

Without Pain, How Could We Know Joy?

Pain, Joy
35
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 1 Episode 5

I would never let a woman kick my ass! If she tried anything, I'd be like 'Hey! Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'

3
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 6 Episode 2

Cartman: 'Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it...'
Stan: 'And then what?'
Cartman: '...and then you pee on them!'

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 1 Episode 7

Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire!

Alcohol
2
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 1 Episode 1

Stan: 'Whatever, you fat bitch.'
Ms. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I said, I have a bad itch.'

2
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 1 Episode 1

Stan: 'That fat bitch won't let us.'
Ms. Crabtee: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I said that rabbits eat lettuce.'

1
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Quote by Wendy Testaburger from South Park in Season 1 Episode 2

Cartman: 'After I'm on television, I'm gonna be totally famous.'
Wendy: 'Hitler was famous too.'

2
0
Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 1 Episode 10

Woah, that is one fudged-up little cracker!

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 1 Episode 9

Cartman: 'I sneaked around my mom's closet and saw what I'm getting: the Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.'
Stan: 'What's that?'
Cartman: 'I don't know, but it sounds sweet.'

3
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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park

Stan: 'Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.'
Kyle: 'You bastards!'

1
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season Season 1 Episode 13

Stan: 'We're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I said, we're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'Oh, all right then.'
Kyle: 'Woah, dude.''
Stan: 'I always wondered if that would work.'

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 2 Episode 8

If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack, and blow your balls all over your pants!

2
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 3 Episode 17

We're trying to find the Brown Noise, it's this one pitch, this certain frequency, that makes people loose bowel control.

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 4 Episode 9

Stan: 'Dude, we don't have any musical talent.'
Cartman: 'That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!'

1
0
Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 5 Episode 2

What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?

5
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Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 6 Episode 2

Chefkoch: 'Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.'
Stan: 'Marry him?'
Chefkoch: 'It definitely worked for every woman i ever met.'

3
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 7 Episode 2

Teacher: 'You think art is not important?'
Stan: 'Well, art is just kinda for gaywads.'
Butters: 'I love our class!'
Stan: 'See?!'

3
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Quote by Mr. Garrison from South Park in Season 7 Episode 5

Mr. Garrison: 'Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties.'
Eric Cartman: 'A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods?'
Mr. Garrison: 'Right, but who was the fattest oldest skank on her period?'

3
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 7 Episode 11

Stan: 'Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.'
Cartman: 'Maybe he caught a disease and died, that'd be so awesome.'
Stan: 'Dude that's not funny, you shouldn't joke about that.'
Cartman: 'Who's joking?'

3
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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 9 Episode 8

Stan: 'I know what did cause the flood.'
Kyle: 'George Bush?'
Stan: 'No!'
Kyle: 'Terrorists?'
Stan: 'No!'
Kyle: 'Communists?'
Stan: 'Nein!'
Kyle: 'Chinese radicals'
Stan: 'Nein!'
Kyle: 'Cartman?'
Stan: 'Sort of...'

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 6 Episode 1

I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!

3
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 6 Episode 2

Cartman: 'Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it...'
Stan: 'And then what?'
Cartman: '...and then you pee on them!'
Kyle: 'No, dude! You're supposed to put their hand in warm water to make THEM pee!'
Cartman: 'Really? Oh well.'

4
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Quote by from South Park in Season 7 Episode 14

I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Life, Breakup & Lovesick, Grief
9
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 9 Episode 11

The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!

3
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 11 Episode 4

Terrorist: 'America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know? Who is America's oldest enemy?'
Cartman: 'The Russians?'
Terrorist: 'Before that!'
Cartman: 'The Germans?'
Terrorist: 'Before that.'
Cartman: 'The Germans again?'

5
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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 11 Episode 12

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

Faith, Imagination
5
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 12 Episode 13

Cartman: 'Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on.'
Stan: 'You didn't die?'
Cartman: 'Freakin' hybrids, man. They just don't do the trick anymore.'

2
0
Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 13 Episode 1

Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.

4
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Quote by Butters Stotch from South Park in Season 13 Episode 1

Stan: 'Rings that say they not gonna have sex or doing anything naughty anymore.'
Butters: 'A ring that says you'll be together but not have sex... isn't that called the wedding ring?'

3
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season Season 13 Episode 11

Stan: 'Dude,it actually wasn't a dolphin and a whale who bombed hiroshima, it was the...'
Cartman: 'Dude, they won't rest until whoever is responsible is completely wiped out!'

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 14 Episode 4

[Playing Chatroulette with Kyle] This is the way the world works, if you want to find some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.

Friendship
3
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Quote by Randy Marsh from South Park in Season 14 Episode 9

Randy: 'Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?'
Schwarzenegger: 'No, because Utah is between Colorado and California.'
Randy: 'Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?'
Schwarzenegger: 'Nevada.'
Randy: 'Oh really? Okay Mr. 'I'm Awesome at Geography'!'

1
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 14 Episode 10

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

4
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 15 Episode 1

Gerald Broflovski: 'Well that does it, I'm going to the police!'
Stan: 'For what?'
Gerald Broflovski: 'To find out where Apple is keeping my son.'
Stan: 'Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!'

Apple
1
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Quote by Randy Marsh from South Park in Season 15 Episode 11

A blowjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.

6
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Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 1

Leoanrd: 'Is this the high-IQ spermbank?'
Woman: 'If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here!'

Nerds
3
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Sheldon: 'You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?'
Leonard: 'Men do things for women without expecting sex.'
Sheldon: 'Those would be men who just had sex.'

Sex
9
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Leonard: 'For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?'
Sheldon: 'You have a sarcasm sign?'

Sarcasm
24
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

6
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Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

6
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Quote by Leslie Winkle from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Leonard: 'Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.'
Leslie: 'Wait, are you asking me out?'

2
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Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 5

Penny: 'Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.'
Leonard: 'Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.'

Nerds
8
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Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 13

So in your world... your like the 'cool guys'.

Nerds
3
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Quote by Leslie Winkle from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 5

Penny: 'Wow, a girl scientist.'
Leslie: 'Yep, come for the breast, stay for the brains.'

3
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Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 12

Howard: 'We need a hot fifteen-year-old asian girl with a thing for smart guys.'
Penny: 'What?'
Leonard: 'Howard, that's racist! Any fifteen-year-old girl will do the trick.'
Rajesh: 'It's possible she may have missunderstood us.'

1
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory

Oh my god, I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda!

Nerds
1
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 2

Everybody's got a date. Even you, Mario, going after Princess Peach. And what am I doing? I'm just enabling you.

6
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 2

Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

6
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 1

Penny: 'Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!'
Sheldon: 'It took you four years to get through high school?!'

High School
7
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

Leonard: 'The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.'
Sheldon: '...with certain obvious exceptions. Suicide for example!'

12
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Quotes 1 to 50 of 1161 of 32 of 33 of 3