Quotes and Sayings about Pooping

Quotes and Sayings about Pooping

Who takes a shit in the middle of a heist?

Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

Steve-O in Jackass

These are my poop shoes. That way no one knows it's me in the bathroom cause they don't see my shoes under the stall.

Sam Gardner in Atypical

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

Jerry Seinfeld

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I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom. The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time - it's a vicious circle.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Episode 8

4

The government just decided: Every houshold hoarding more than 10 rolls of toilet paper is from now on regarded as a public toilet.

1

Corona-Jokes Toilet

Jim: "Yesterday, we had a meeting about planets."
Michael: "Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets. We were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon?"

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 3

Did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a circular net you put inside the toilet to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 19

One of his jinxes backfired, the toilet exploded and they found him lying unconscious in the wreckage covered from head to foot in -

Arthur Weasley in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry: "A Regurgitating Toilet?"
Arthur: "Anti-Muggle pranksters. Muggles are pulling the flush and instead of everything disappearing - well, you can imagine. The poor things keep calling in those - those pumbles, I think they're called - you know, the ones who mend pipes and things."

Arthur Weasley in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Kiara: "They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers."
JJ: "Of course. Why wouldn't they?"
Kiara: "This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about the turtles, I guess?"
JJ: "I can't have cold towels."

JJ Maybank in Outer Banks - Season 1 Episode 1

Jet: "You know, sometimes when you lose something, there's just no getting it back."
Spike: "Any more fortune cookies you want to crack open, or can we eat now?"
Jet: "You work at being an ahole?"
Spike: "No, actually, it comes naturally. Unlike your arm."

Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1

"You good guys, or bad guys?"
"Depends on who you ask."

Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1

I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to find out if I'm really alive.

Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop

It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.

Steve-O in Jackass

I am so glad I turned this idea down!

Steve-O in Jackass - The Movie

Hi, it's cold in Japan, so we're going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks.

Steve-O in Jackass

Spike: "Do you know what I got the last time I was on TJ?"
Jet: "Herpes?"
Spike: "Stabbed."

Jet Black in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1

Man: "Astro Gate toll will be deducted from your account."
Jet: "I'm going to take a piss in transit. Wanna charge me for that too?"
Man: "We already do, BeBop. Read the fine print."

Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1

Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.

Jackass - Forever

Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - to a cow

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

Ray Embrey in Hancock

9

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

Cisco Ramon in The Flash

2

In the beginning of a jorney, no one knows what to expect. They might have a vague idea the road ahead could be rough. That's what makes new beginnings so exciting. You don't know what will happen until it's over.

Sam Gardner in Atypical - Season 4

2

Beginnings can be painful. But that doesn't mean they're bad.

Sam Gardner in Atypical - Season 4

1

Elsa: "This is where you can sit when we talk when I FaceTime you every night."
Sam: "Every night?"
Elsa: "I talked myself down from three times a day, so that is my best and final offer."

Elsa Gardner in Atypical - Season 4

Sometimes I wish I was normal, but nobody's normal.

Sam Gardner in Atypical

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Jerry Seinfeld

1

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

Marley & Me

14

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

6

Humanity Gratitude Animals Dogs

Spike: "Just to be clear... we don't get paid if we bring them in dead, but damaged is okay?"
Jet: "I'd say very badly damaged would be A-okay."

Jet Black in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1

They often say that humans can't alive alone. But you can live pretty long by yourself. Insteak of feeling alone in a group, it's better to be alone in your solitude.

Faye Valentine in Cowboy Bebop

I have no fear of death. It just means dreaming in silence. A dream that lasts for eternity.

Vincent Volaju in Cowboy Bebop

I think I'm a little concussed.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - The Movie

You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

Bam Margera in Jackass

Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"

Ryan Dunn in Jackass

They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.

Chris Pontius in Jackass

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