The best Quotes by Piper Chapman

The best Quotes by Piper Chapman

Piper Elizabeth Chapman (played by Taylor Schilling) is the protagonist of the Netflix series Orange Is the New Black.

Larry Bloom: "Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup."
Piper Chapman: "Well, you put your pee stick in my v*gina. And that's why we're in this situation."
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8
Sam Healy: "It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejac*lation."
Piper: "No! No. No, it's not. This is real."
Sam Healy: "How is it real? Wait, which?"
Piper: "The chicken. And the... the chicken."
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5
Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose, if you're trying to snort crack? I think you mean coke.
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 2
Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1
Oh my God, Larry, by the time I get out, there will've been like three new generations of iPhones!
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1
Come on, we gotta rally. Make some memories.
Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1

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You're a beautiful, sweet girl. F*ck this guy!
1
What do I think love is? It's like when someone makes your stomach feel all tight, but floaty at the same time, you know? And your cheeks hurt from smiling. And you smile so much, that people think something's wrong with you.
...And also f*cking. Twenty-four seven, deep-dick, can't-walk-right f*cking.
1
"What's love to you?"
Flaca: "It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' There's mood lighting all over, and there's like five dudes massaging you."
Maritza: "And you have a pizza!"
Flaca: "She's right. You also have a pizza."
2
All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb it's power.
1
You gotta move...The f*ck...On!
1
If I hadn't buried my feelings so deep I would totally be tearing up right now.
1
Pain is always there cause life is freaking painful, okay?
1
I would very much like to return your witty banter, but I am too exhausted to be clever.
1
I hate it when you talk sometimes. No... all the time.
1
Rule Number One: Don't ever fall in love with a straight girl.
1
(Love is) pain, horrible pain, that you want again and again.
2
You need to figure out what the f*ck you want.
1
I'm not surviving, I'm just existing.
1
I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong.
1
Well, I think that... when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know?
1
It's like...It's like I'm a f*cked-up-shit magnet.
1
Stop crying. Remember? Crying makes you ugly and weak.
1
A life spent defensively, worried, is a life wasted.
At the end of the day, if there was indeed some Body or presence standing there to judge me, I hoped I would be judged on whether I had lived a true life, not on whether I believed in a certain book, or whether I'd been baptized.
Lance Armstrong - It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life
One of the redeeming things about being an athlete is redefining what is humanly possible.
Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
3
Frank: "Why you gotta be such an asshole?"
Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."
Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 4
Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.
7
You're like the iPhone 5 of German TV hosts. Thin, light and unnecessarily tall.
Klaas Heufer-Umlauf in Joko & Klaas - neoParadise vom 13.09.2012
2
If you want my advice? Get out of your own goddamn drama for a minute.
1
Larry Bloom: "Are we at least gonna talk about other options?"
Piper Chapman: "You mean..."
Larry Bloom: "It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion."
Larry Bloom in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8
Red: "Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen."
Piper: "Why, because all black people love chicken?"
Red: "Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken."
Pennsatucky: "It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded."
Pussey: "F*ck are you? Joan of Arc?"
Pennsatucky: "No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany..."
What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?
Larry: "She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig roasting box."
Pete: "At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?"
Larry: "A baby?"
Pete: "You can't eat it."
Pete Harper in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1
Lorna Morello: "I need to start tightening up. You're making me feel like a cave."
Nicky Nichols: "Baby, it's a c*nt, it stretches!"
Lorna Morello: "Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb."
Lorna Morello in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5
We're not defined by what we los. We're defined by what we survive.
Jecki Lon in Star Wars: The Acolyte - Season 1 Episode 4

Related pages to Piper Chapman

Orange Is the New BlackLance ArmstrongVaginasPenissesiPhonesNicky NicholsLarry BloomGalina 'Red' ReznikovAlex VauseTiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett