The good news is, Luke has his bike.
More good news, I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike.
Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire, or fear how much I love her.Phil Dunphy in Modern Family, Season 5 Episode 1
Phil: "Little heads up - there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding."
Claire: "Phil, you cried on the way here."
Phil: "I was on the brink already. I watched 'Dirty Dancing' before we left."
I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I surf the web... I text LOL - Laugh Out Loud, OMG - Oh My God, WTF - Why The Face.Phil Dunphy in Modern Family, Season 1 Episode 1
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.SuccessPhil Dunphy in Modern Family
Alex: "What's Jagermeister?"
Phil: "Well, you know how in a fairytale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that, except you don't wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation."
Haley: "Dad, can you just please tell mom, that I can take a two hour break and go to a party?"
Phil: "No Ma'am, I'm not stepping into that one. We're not playing 'good cop - mom'.'"
You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.Phil Dunphy in Modern Family
When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, "What?!"ZitronenPhil Dunphy in Modern Family
Dance, until your feet hurt. Sing, until your lungs hurt. Act, until you're William Hurt.Phil Dunphy in Modern Family
The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.ExpectationsPhil Dunphy in Modern Family
If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.Phil Dunphy in Modern Family
Always look people in the eye. Even if they're blind. Just say, 'I am looking you in the eye.'BlindnessPhil Dunphy in Modern Family