Quotes by Phil Dunphy

The good news is, Luke has his bike.
More good news, I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike.

Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire, or fear how much I love her.

Phil: "Little heads up - there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding."
Claire: "Phil, you cried on the way here."
Phil: "I was on the brink already. I watched 'Dirty Dancing' before we left."

I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I surf the web... I text LOL - Laugh Out Loud, OMG - Oh My God, WTF - Why The Face.

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

Alex: "What's Jagermeister?"
Phil: "Well, you know how in a fairytale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that, except you don't wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation."

Haley: "Dad, can you just please tell mom, that I can take a two hour break and go to a party?"
Phil: "No Ma'am, I'm not stepping into that one. We're not playing 'good cop - mom'.'"

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, "What?!"

Dance, until your feet hurt. Sing, until your lungs hurt. Act, until you're William Hurt.

The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.

If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.

Always look people in the eye. Even if they're blind. Just say, 'I am looking you in the eye.'

If you love something, set it free. Unless it's a tiger.