The best Quotes by Peter Griffin

The best Quotes by Peter Griffin

Peter Griffin is the main character of the US-animation series Family Guy. The family's father, Peter Griffin, is spoken by Seth MacFarlane - the inventor of Family Guy.

Peter Griffin is a fat, Irish-American worker, whose quotes show mainly one thing; that he's pretty dumb.

Kidnapper: "You guys watch the main cabin, I will find them. I'll take that fat guy as a human shield."
Peter: "Oh, nice, last guy picked for dodgeball, first guy for human shield."
Family Guy - Season 15 Episode 10
'Okay, nobody move!"
Cleveland: "Oh my god, those guys in first class have guns."
Peter: "Cleveland, just be happy with what you have. Don't envy people!"
Family Guy - Season 15 Episode 10
Peter: "Well, I got the results of your ultrasound and I got some news for ya."
Pregnant Woman: "Wait, wait, wait, we don't wanna if it's a boy or a girl."
Peter: "Oh, okay. Well, IT's not breathing."
Family Guy - Season 14 Episode 2
Lois: "You're drunk again!"
Peter: "No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking."
Family Guy - Season 2 Episode 20
Lois: "Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!"
Peter: "That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!"
Family Guy - Season 2 Episode 20
Chris, this is a big day for you. Today you become the man of the house, because when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Family Guy - Season 1 Episode 3
I've got an idea. An idea so smart that my head would explode, if I even began to know what I'm talking about.
Lois: "Why should I get my tubes tied? You should get a vasectomy!"
Peter: "First, I don't know what that is. And two, no freakin' way."
Family Guy - Season 4 Episode 22
Lois: "I think I'm pregnant."
Peter: "Oh, are you sure it's yours?"
Family Guy - Season 4 Episode 22
Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat women are fat.
Family Guy - Season 4 Episode 22
Boy, fat sex is the best sex we've ever had! Last night there were so many boobs I didn't know who's boobs I was grabbin'.
Family Guy - Season 4 Episode 22
Peter: "I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley..."
Brian: "Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup."
Peter: "...Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda..."
Brian: "That's Street Fighters!"
Peter: ", blue, green..."
Brian: "Those are colors!"
Family Guy - Season 4 Episode 22

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Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."
Chris: "Now you just take that beautiful hair down to the salon, and you'll be a ten."
Stewie: "On a scale of a billion?"
Stewie Griffin in Family Guy - Season 17 Episode 13
Peter: "How can I be a DJ? I'm just a guy with a laptop and an inflated self-image."
Quagmire: "Trust me, you're perfect!"
Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy - Season 15 Episode 12
How come you Eastern European guys can't be quiter in p*rnos? I mean, nobody has ever been like, 'yeah, yeah, more guy noises!'
Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy - Season 15 Episode 10
My God, it's finally happened. He's become so massive he's collapsed into himself like a neutron star.
Stewie Griffin in Family Guy - Season 2 Episode 17
You're the worst thing to happen to musical theater since Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Stewie Griffin in Family Guy - Season 2 Episode 7
Brian: "Hey Stewie, how do ya not know about trick-or-treating?!"
Stewie: "How do YOU not know that your reflection on your mirror is not another dog?"
Lois: "You've never even had a boyfriend more than a few weeks."
Meg: "I have two, remember when I dated the Count?"
Count Count: "One nipple. Two nipples. Three nip- oh, hell no! I'm outta here!"
Ouh, that's gotta hurt worse than getting a birthday telegram from Zinédine Zidane.
If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer; you'd need an egg calendar.
The resistance to science is idiotic.
I can't believe I am hosting the Oscars. It's an honor everyone else said no.
If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.
I'm wide open to getting married, but actors are not easy people to date. You end up sharing that person with this other mistress that is their career. I very much like the traditional courtship method of making a date. That's what they do in normal places, but Hollywood's not normal.
'The Brady Bunch' asks nothing of you as a viewer. Sometimes is just what the doctor ordered.
Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."
Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing

Related pages to Peter Griffin

Family GuySeth MacFarlaneThe best Quotes and Jokes about Fat PeopleFat PeopleAlcoholStewie GriffinGlenn QuagmireMeg GriffinThe best Series QuotesSeries-Quotes