J.D.: "What's wrong with me?"
Dr. Cox: "You're an annoying, whining man-child."
J.D.: "That question wasn't directed to you!"
Dr. Cox: "What question?"
Elliot: "I'm notifying all my old boyfriends today that I'm officially off the market."
Dr. Cox: "I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!"
Bob Kelso: "If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love."
Dr. Cox: "I think your credit card statement would beg to differ."
Have you ever had a thought, that you didn't immediately verbalize?Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 4 Episode 8
God, my brilliance is now becoming a bit of a burden. Get back to me!Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 3 Episode 17
About a year ago, Jordan said she wanted to 'crash for a while'. Now my office is a nursery, my closet is my office, my clothes are in the entertainment center, and my TV is in the john - which I guess is kind of nice, I don't even know anymore.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 3 Episode 10
Julie: "It has minimal side effects, only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage."
Dr. Cox: "I'm getting two out of three from the conversation."
If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.Ass, Fat PeoplePerry Cox in Scrubs, Season 2 Episode 5
Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted?Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 1 Episode 11
Should I talk slower or get a nurse who speaks fluent Moron?Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 1 Episode 5
Carla, I have a six-month old child, I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, 'Hmm, is he the dad, is he the grandad, is he the grandad's grandad and oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year old little boy is in the mud crying? Is--is he taunting the little boy? No! He can't even see the little boy, and, now look: he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD.'Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 3 Episode 8
Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.RelationshipsPerry Cox in Scrubs, Season 1 Episode 15
Lemme see if I can make this real clear for you: If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix, because at one time you served some function, but it was so long ago nobody's quite sure what that was anymore.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 6 Episode 7
Dr. Cox: "I hate you. You suck."
Elliot: "I know, but I've been trying harder."
Dr. Cox: "Barbie? Talking to the computer, but nice self esteem."
Saying someone is the best surgeon, is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of 'The Hills'.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 8 Episode 4
Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 2 Episode 22
Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 1 Episode 17
Did you actually just page me to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lensner? It's regular-strength tylenol. Here's what you do. Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 1 Episode 1
I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 3 Episode 4
I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 4 Episode 11
Either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.Perry Cox in Scrubs, Season 4 Episode 2