The best Quotes by Perry Cox

J.D.: "What's wrong with me?"
Dr. Cox: "You're an annoying, whining man-child."
J.D.: "That question wasn't directed to you!"
Dr. Cox: "What question?"

Elliot: "I'm notifying all my old boyfriends today that I'm officially off the market."
Dr. Cox: "I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!"

Bob Kelso: "If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love."
Dr. Cox: "I think your credit card statement would beg to differ."

Have you ever had a thought, that you didn't immediately verbalize?

God, my brilliance is now becoming a bit of a burden. Get back to me!

About a year ago, Jordan said she wanted to 'crash for a while'. Now my office is a nursery, my closet is my office, my clothes are in the entertainment center, and my TV is in the john - which I guess is kind of nice, I don't even know anymore.

Julie: "It has minimal side effects, only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage."
Dr. Cox: "I'm getting two out of three from the conversation."

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted?

Should I talk slower or get a nurse who speaks fluent Moron?

Carla, I have a six-month old child, I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, 'Hmm, is he the dad, is he the grandad, is he the grandad's grandad and oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year old little boy is in the mud crying? Is--is he taunting the little boy? No! He can't even see the little boy, and, now look: he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD.'

Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

Lemme see if I can make this real clear for you: If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix, because at one time you served some function, but it was so long ago nobody's quite sure what that was anymore.

Dr. Cox: "I hate you. You suck."
Elliot: "I know, but I've been trying harder."
Dr. Cox: "Barbie? Talking to the computer, but nice self esteem."

Saying someone is the best surgeon, is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of 'The Hills'.

Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.

Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?

Did you actually just page me to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lensner? It's regular-strength tylenol. Here's what you do. Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.

I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

Either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.

Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.

The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.

Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends'... if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.

You just have to remember, that even if things are changing all around you, deep down you're still the same person.

I grew up on the street. No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.

Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.

I don't believe in fate. I believe we have more control than we think and that every action has a reaction. After all, the most minor event, even a butterfly flapping its wings, can change everything.

What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

Sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

Because often when you do it, it makes you happy. Things have a way of working out.

In the end, the most important thing to accept is that - no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be - with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too.

J.D.: "When one person dies, another person gets a chance to live. I like to call it the circle of life."
Dr. Cox: "Oh, my God, you must stop
watching The Lion King."
J.D.: "I like that baby lion cub... what's his name?"
Dr. Cox: "Uhm, Simba."
J.D.: "Trick question - you like it too!"

Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.

Elliot: "I am through taking my clothes off in front of men!"
Dr. Kelso: "I think I can speak for all of us when I say: we'll live."

It's hard to face a harsh truth about yourself. The only thing you can do, is try to take positive steps.

It's about the day I realised, that admitting we're not heroic, is when we're the most heroic of all.

Turk: "Well?"
J.D.: "It's beautiful. But my parents are killing me, if I marry a black guy."

Elliot: "I'm not hiding, I was just looking for my... you know, the... I was looking for my dignity."
J.D.: "Did you find it?"
Elliot: "No. I must've left it at college."

Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call.

Maybe it's not about being the best. Maybe it's about finding little things, that get you through the day. Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed - if only for a moment.

Dr. Cox: "You going there, chief?"
Bob Kelso: "No. If I wanted to make small talk over low-grade beef, I'd have dinner at home."

Dr. Kelso: "Next time, if you're not here in 30 minutes, I expect a free dead body or some garlic knots."
Turk: "Dr Kelso, that's extremely insensitive."
Dr. Kelso: "I don't think so. Miss Parker, you care to weigh in? Nope, she's fine with it. She knows a thing or two. Except, of course, that a yellow light means to slow down."

Well you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him!

It's a shame, you paying all that money for an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house, and you're not allowed inside either one.

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.