Quotes and Sayings about Penisses

Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

Carrie: "Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised."
Charlotte: "Great, now they're taking over the world!"
Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."

Of course it's hard to understand women...
if you think with your dick instead of your heart.

Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, "I want to be you when I grow up!"

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

Lily: "We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!"
Barney: "I can't go. I've got this thing."
Lily: "What thing?"
Barney: "A penis!"

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

Big dick energy is gender-neutral.

Getting up is the second hardest thing in the morning...

Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your d-ck gets hard. Your d-ck is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's d-ck is hard, but he won't let you know, 'cause he's the boss. Boss' d-ck got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty, so my d-ck can be hard.

I can't go in there 'cause Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

I'm just different. I like to do things using my head rather than my penis - that's different, right?

The d makes the world go round!

In my naivety I always assumed that women would somehow be better than men. But I guess arseholes will always be arseholes, it doesn't really matter if they have a penis or a v*gina.

Varys: "He's a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, whose support we are going to need."
Tyrion: "Joffrey was a man. I don't think a c-ck is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree."

Phillip: "Did he pitch a tent?"
Karen: "Huh?"
Phillip: "Did you make him hard?"
Karen: "Ever try to play pool with a rope?"

Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 'Cause neither are going anywhere. You should work with what you've got.

You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.

Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.

My brain: it's my second favorite organ.

A dick has a sad life: His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a p*ssy, & his owner beats him.

If you want more sex, just ask for it.

Sheldon: "You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?"
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."

Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent... leave that to me.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

When you find a man you wish to marry, Tessa, remember this: You will know what kind of man he is not by the things he says, but by the things he does.

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.

Men may be stronger, but it is women who endure.

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

I love you. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

A life spent defensively, worried, is a life wasted.

That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.

I'm Starting to realize that people lack good mirrors. It's so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel.

Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shows can change your life.

Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.

If he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly... as an a-shole!

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

I want him to have what he wants - if it's what I want.

Gabrielle Solis: "I never bragged."
Lynette Scavo: "You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'."

Sometimes the point is to be sad, August. Sometimes you just have to feel it because it deserves to be felt.

Of course I love you. I could go back in time and have a whole life and get old and never see you again, and you would still be it. You were— you are the love of my life.

Young boys should never be sent to bed... they always wake up a day older.

I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? 'Cause I ordered some pizza.

You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid.