I can't go in there 'cause Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.Home Alone - 2: Lost in New York, by Kevin McCallister
I'm just different. I like to do things using my head rather than my penis - that's different, right?Antonio DePína in The Circle, Season 1 Episode 1
Of course it's hard to understand women...
if you think with your dick instead of your heart.
Varys: "He's a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, whose support we are going to need."
Tyrion: "Joffrey was a man. I don't think a c-ck is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree."
Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 'Cause neither are going anywhere. You should work with what you've got.Otis Milburn in Sex Education, Season 1 Episode 1
You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.Sammi Slott in Shameless, Season 4
Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.PrisonsJohn Oliver (Last Week Tonight), Mandatory Minimums
Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.ShoesJohn Green in Paper Towns
Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.Piper Chapman in Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 1
Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, "I want to be you when I grow up!"Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 7 Episode 9
It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.SexGabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 1
Carrie: "Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised."
Charlotte: "Great, now they're taking over the world!"
Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."
Lily: "We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!"
Barney: "I can't go. I've got this thing."
Lily: "What thing?"
Barney: "A penis!"