The best Quotes and Sayings about Penisses

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I can't go in there 'cause Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

Home Alone - 2: Lost in New York, by Kevin McCallister
 
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I'm just different. I like to do things using my head rather than my penis - that's different, right?

Antonio DePína in The Circle, Season 1 Episode 1
 
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The d makes the world go round!

Romeo in Sky Rojo, Season 1 Episode 7
 
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Of course it's hard to understand women...
if you think with your dick instead of your heart.

Men & WomenUnknown
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Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 'Cause neither are going anywhere. You should work with what you've got.

Otis Milburn in Sex Education, Season 1 Episode 1
 
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You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

Sammi Slott in Shameless, Season 4
 
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Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.

PrisonsJohn Oliver in Last Week Tonight, Mandatory Minimums
 
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Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

ShoesJohn Green in Paper Towns
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Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.

Piper Chapman in Orange Is the New Black, Season 1 Episode 1
 
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It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

SexGabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 1
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Carrie: "Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised."
Charlotte: "Great, now they're taking over the world!"
Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City, Season 2 Episode 9
4
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Lily: "We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!"
Barney: "I can't go. I've got this thing."
Lily: "What thing?"
Barney: "A penis!"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 2 Episode 15
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If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 6 Episode 17
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