The best Quotes and Sayings about Penisses

Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

Carrie: "Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised."
Charlotte: "Great, now they're taking over the world!"
Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."

Of course it's hard to understand women...
if you think with your dick instead of your heart.

Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, "I want to be you when I grow up!"

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

Lily: "We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!"
Barney: "I can't go. I've got this thing."
Lily: "What thing?"
Barney: "A penis!"

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

Getting up is the second hardest thing in the morning...

Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your d-ck gets hard. Your d-ck is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's d-ck is hard, but he won't let you know, 'cause he's the boss. Boss' d-ck got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty, so my d-ck can be hard.

I can't go in there 'cause Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

I'm just different. I like to do things using my head rather than my penis - that's different, right?

The d makes the world go round!

Varys: "He's a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, whose support we are going to need."
Tyrion: "Joffrey was a man. I don't think a c-ck is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree."

Be proud of your penis and your heritage. 'Cause neither are going anywhere. You should work with what you've got.

You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

Prison sentences are a lot like penises. If they're used correctly, even a short one can do the trick... is a rumor I have heard.

Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.

My brain: it's my second favorite organ.