Quotes and Sayings about Pen & Paper

Rajesh: "I don't know if I want to play anymore."
Sheldon: "Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good Lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble."

Never trust a smiling gamemaster!

The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.

I am the gamemaster.
Rule #1: You do what I tell you to do.
Rule #2: I'm always right.
Rule #3: In case I'm not right, execute rule #1.

Hello, everyone! And welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.

Dungeons & Dragons is about storytelling in worlds of swords and sorcery. It shares elements with childhood games of make-believe. Like those games, D&D is driven by imagination. It's about picturing the towering castle beneath the stormy night sky and imagining how a fantasy adventurer might react to the challenges that scene presents.

It's nearly impossible to enforce actual consequences in video games at the moment, but at a table, sitting face-to-face across a tabletop game, or even playing at a LAN party, sportsmanship matters.

Doric: "What is it exactly that you bring to this?"
Elgin: "I'm a planner. I make plans."
Doric: "You've already made the plan, so...-"
Elgin: "If the existing plan fails, I make a new plan."
Doric: "So you make plans that fail?"

Elgin: "To give us a fighting chance we're going to need strength. You got this, right?"
Holga: "Ich schon, du nicht."

Elgin: "Truth be told. We helped the wrong person steal the wrong thing. We didn't mean to unleash the greatest evil the world has ever known. But we're going to fix it."
Holga: "Well how do we pull that off?"
Elgin: "Uh..."
Holga: "Figure it out over a drink?"
Elgin: "Probably best."

And when you do this, you're bound to make enemies. Sometimes, those enemies come looking for revenge.

Who needs heroes when you have thieves?

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Leonard: "I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle..."
Sheldon: "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.'"

Vax'ildan: "Good sir dwarf, clearly we are idiots."
Dungeon Master: "That's the first true thing you've said since you called me out of my meal."

Long ago, in another realm stood the majestic kingdom of Tal'Dorei. Once the battlefield of gods and titans, its lands now harbor magic, wonder and mystery. It was a time of peace... until a great evil arrived. A brave group of heroes banded together, ready to face this evil.

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Physics answers the question, "What is the nature of the universe?" Geology answers the question, "What'd I just trip over?"

Kashaw: "Is there a weak point?"
Scanlan: "Our plan."

Right. I have an intelligence of 6. I know what I'm doing.

If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don't respect him.

Someone who I would describe as a "geek" or "nerd" is a person who loves something to its greatest extent and then looks for other people who love it the same way so they can celebrate loving it together.

Leonard: "I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Penny: "And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'."
Leonard: "When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it."

Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."

This physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "Well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us, that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me." The owner then says, "Lots of single, beautiful women come in here ever day. Buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you." And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?!"

Raj: "Hey, look, I found an iPod!"
Howard: "Smashed beyond repair - what are you going to do with it?"
Raj: "What else? Sell it on ebay as 'slightly used'."

Penny: "Wow, a girl scientist."
Leslie: "Yep, come for the breast, stay for the brains."

Gosh, Amy, I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Sheldon: "Why do people cry at weddings?"
Mary: "They're practicing for what's coming later."

In fact, we'll be keeping your weapons, your armor, and, I believe, your pride.