The best Quotes by Patton Oswalt

The best Quotes by Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt (born January 27, 1969) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. His acting roles include Spence Olchin in the sitcom The King of Queens (1998–2007) and narrating the sitcom The Goldbergs (2013–2023) as adult Adam F. Goldberg. He appeared in Parks and Recreation, Community, Two and a Half Men, Drunk History, Reno 911!, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Archer, Veep, Justified, Kim Possible, Modern Family, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.