The best Quotes from Parks and Recreation

The best Quotes from Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation (also known as Parks and Rec) is an American political satire mockumentary sitcom television series created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur.

Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
Ann Perkins - Season 4 Episode 7
One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford - Season 5 Episode 19
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson - Season 3 Episode 2
What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.
I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.
No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.
Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.
Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.
I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.
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The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.
I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.
Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!
There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
Tom Haverford - Season 3 Episode 13
I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.
April Ludgate - Season 4 Episode 21
Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.
Tom Haverford - Season 5 Episode 6
Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let's go!
April Ludgate - Season 6 Episode 10
She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.
We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.
I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert.
Everything hurts and I'm dying.
Leslie Knope - Season 4 Episode 17
Idaho cut their parks department by 80 percent. And Idaho is basically one giant park.

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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
In Italy, you know you've found a truly authentic restaurant when they don't have an English menu. In India, it's when there are no utensils and you must eat with your hands.
1
Be nice to people and work hard!
Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.
Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season 1 Episode 1
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Peralta: "I'm just gonna grab a healthy breakfast."
Holt: "Are those gummybears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?"
Peralta: "Breakfast-Burrito... but, yeah."
Holt: "I pity your dentist."
Peralta: "Joke's on you, I don't have a dentist!"
Jacob Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season 1 Episode 15
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