I'll never forget my first arrest. He was a litterbug. This photo captures the exact moment when 50,000 volts turned his spine into dust. He doesn't litter anymore because he can't hold things.Gina Jabowski in Paradise PD, Season 1 Episode 1
The only thing doing any real work around here is Dusty's insulin pump.Randall Crawford in Paradise PD, Season 1 Episode 1
Randall: "Alright Kevin, pull your pants down!"
Kevin: "Dad, why?"
Randall: "We're gonna rub our dicks together and make a fire."
Kevin: "Dad, you rub sticks together!"
Randall: "Oh. Well, I guess I was molested as a child then."
Fitz: "Where's the bomb-defusing robot?"
Randall: "Too expensive. We just go under a bridge, deputize a hobo, and send him in there."
Randall: "I thought you said he was a doctor?"
Dinkle: "Dentists are doctors!"
Randall: "Yeah, and birds are books. What a loser."
Dusty: "Well, hey and good day to you, Stanley."
Stanley: "You can see me even though I'm a ghost? Wait, are you a medium?"
Dusty: "No, I'm a 32 XXXXXXXL, but ain't you the sweetest?"
You are so clever. I'm going to give you one slice of expired bologna for 10 percent of your company.Dusty Marlow in Paradise PD
Kevin: "I failed you, dad. I should hand in my badge - and my crossing guard uniform."
Randall: "Kevin. Why the hell would I want those!?"
Randall: "Do you know how much damage you did to that video store?"
Kevin: "Nine dollars?"
It's just my mama's recipe and I used some unbleached flour hidden in the pantry.Dusty Marlow in Paradise PD, Season 1 Episode 4
You know whenever a brick crashes through the window, it reminds me of my mama.Dusty Marlow in Paradise PD
Our next item up for bid is a delicious and nutritious product from the commissary called Cup O' Noodles.Dusty Marlow in Paradise PD, Season 1 Episode 5