The best Quotes by Pam Beesly

Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
Pam: "It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, CeCe drinks it six hours later."
Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
Pam: "Well, it does and it doesn't."

The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

It's not about who you've been with. It's about who you end up with. Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.

The Office - Season 6 Episode 22

You know, Apple Computer started in a garage. And we're starting in a condo. So we already have a leg up on Apple.

The Office - Season 5 Episode 22

Apple

When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that.

The Office - Season 5 Episode 15

There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?"
He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."

The Office - Season 4 Episode 11

I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.

The Office - Season 3 Episode 3

If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week.

The Office - Season 2 Episode 19

Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were and it ended with him telling me he could benchpress 190 pounds. So I don't really know what to expect.

The Office - Season 2 Episode 8

The Office - Season 1 Episode 4

I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might...- I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.

The Office - Season 1 Episode 1

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Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Shower

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

Toby Flenderson

You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 9

I feel weak today. I felt much stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 22

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a depression-era practicality, and then moved to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 5 Episode 17

Birthday

It's like I used to tell my wife: "I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it, you can leave." And I say the same thing to my current wife. And I'll say it to my next one too.

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 4 Episode 12

Apologize

Michael: "Inventory's at the end of December."
Pam: "We couldn't do it without you, so we postponed."
Michael: "Oh... I specifically went on vacation so I would miss it."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 3 Episode 11

Karen Filippelli: "You can't give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow."
Creed Bratton: "Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of 'em."

Creed Bratton in The Office - Season 3 Episode 9

I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

Ryan Howard in The Office

Kelly Kapoor

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

Robert California in The Office - Season 8 Episode 11

Florida

I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 8 Episode 7

What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 8 Episode 3

There are plenty of people who love touching me. I'm a terrific hugger. I've been with a bunch of girls where that's basically all they wanna do.

Gabe Lewis in The Office - Season 7 Episode 26

Hugs

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy Bernard in The Office

Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 22

What's the argument here? NBA. WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 7 Episode 23

Women's Sports

My perfect Valentine's Day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Valentine's Day Restaurants

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Romeo and Juliet

Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know that impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.

Ryan Howard in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
Stanley: "You don't have our attention."
Michael: "Money!"
Stanley: "I'm listening."
Kevin: "You had me at 'Sex'."

Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9

I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding CeCe, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest - if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1

Apple

Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike. I had those extra wheels on the back that support you.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 5

A horse is a bike that pedals itself.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 7 Episode 5

Horses Bicycles

Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game and it's called "let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests". And they're both winning.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 4 Episode 9

Michael: "Phyllis did injure herself, but she injured herself having fun and I don't think she'd trade that memory for anything."
Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 27

Creed: "I've never seen herpes on you."
Meredith: "'Cause it's on my genitals, genius."
Kevin: "You have a p-nis?"

Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 4

Michael: "This is our warehouse, or, as I like to call it, the 'whoorehouse'. But don't you call it that. I've earned the right."
Ryan: "Fine. Don't worry about that."

Ryan Howard in The Office - Season 1 Episode 5

Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch.

Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21

Airplanes

Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office.

Andy Bernard in The Office - Season 4 Episode 2

Jim Halpert

What did I say? I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

Kelly Kapoor in The Office - Season 7 Episode 2

I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.

Deangelo Vickers in The Office - Season 7 Episode 20

Nevada Arizona New Mexico Utah

In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.

Meredith Palmer in The Office - Season 2 Episode 15

When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more.

Karen Filippelli in The Office - Season 3 Episode 18

When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commercials, then I realized I had a brain.

Oscar Martinez in The Office - Season 4 Episode 5

Advertising & Marketing

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Pam Beesly

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