Quote by Oliver Welke (about Corona-Jokes, 70s)

We are looking at the biggest economic crash since 1970.
And thanks to closed barber-shops, we'll soon look like the 70s again.

Oliver Welke in heute-show - April 2020

Corona-Jokes 70s

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The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

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Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

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Crazy times we're living in. I used to cough to hide a fart, now I'm farting to hide a cough.

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I tested negative to Covid yesterday and positive today. No symptoms what so ever. Covid had the courage to challenge me. Bad idea.

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Whoa, and the '70s are back. All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms and it's Studio 54.

June Ballard in Young Sheldon - Season 5 Episode 10

70s

Jax: "People actually wore this crap?"
Stein: "People smoked a lot of pot in the '70s. It clearly had a deleterious effect on the fashion of the era."

Martin Stein in Legends of Tomorrow - Season 1 Episode 2

70s

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Felix Lobrecht

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To never be sick can't be healthy.

Karl Valentin

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A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

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Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

Bill Murray

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Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Robin Williams

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This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Jan Böhmermann - February 2022

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People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Steve Harvey - February 2021

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Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

Kevin Hart

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Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming

Spotify

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

Dave Chappelle

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

Mike Myers

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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Bob Hope

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Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

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If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

Quote by Oliver Welke (about Corona-Jokes, 70s)

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