Quotes by Norman Newlander

Norman Newlander is a character from The Kominsky Method

The best Series Quotes

Being human and being hurt are the same damn thing.

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 2
 
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Secretary: "I am so delighted that you're back."
Norman: "Give it time. The feeling will pass."

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 5
 
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Sandy: "Listen, I finally got the urologist on the other line."
Norman: "Wexler? Tell him I hope he gets his index finger caught in a wood chipper!"

FingersNorman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 5
 
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Rabbi: "When you sit shivah for a loved one, all the mirrors in the house are supposed to be covered."
Norman: "I know. I'm just not that kind of Jew."
Rabbi: "Really? And what kind of Jew are you?"
Norman: "I'm, I'm the atheist kind."

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 3
 
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The secret to a happy relationship is that the woman must always feel like she comes first.

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 6
 
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Receptionist: "Horses are very spiritual animals, and they help our patients in their path to recovery."
Norman: "Ah. A path filled with horse shit."

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 6
 
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I had a whale of a nap, so I'm good until 10.

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 2 Episode 1
 
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Sandy: "We'll set up a payment plan, say, a thousand dollars a month."
Norman: "Math isn't really your strong suit, is it?"
Sandy: "Why?"
Norman: "Why? That's 25 years. You know how old I'll be when you finish paying me off? Dead!"
Sandy: "Okay. How about if I push it up to eleven hundred a month?"
Norman: "Still dead."

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 7
 
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I urinate in Morse code - dots and dashes.

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 2
 
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You know what it's like to be human? Is that something you wanna know? Fine, I'll tell you. It hurts to be human. It hurts like hell. And all the exploring in the world doesn't make that hurt go away. Because being human and being hurt are the same damn thing!

Norman Newlander in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 2
 
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