Harry and Meghan, move over! This is what fairy tales are made of. They'd been together for two whole weeks, which for teenagers is basically a lifetime of monogamy. Although between us, it had been a surprisingly PG-13 two weeks.
TeenagersJohn McEnroe in Never Have I Ever, Season 3 Episode 1We are smart. And idiots are banging all the time. We can learn how to do it, too.
Fabiola Torres in Never Have I EverI want you to allow yourself to aknowledge the pain that you so clearly feel.
Never Have I EverHaving just any boyfriend, no matter who he is, is not going to make you happier or change who you are.
Never Have I EverI can not believe that a woman who was brave enough to travel halfway around the world to pursue her dreams would allow anyone to dictate who she can be with.
Never Have I EverJust keep your nose out of my business and up the teacher's butt where it usually is.
Devi Vishwakumar in Never Have I EverI was pretending to be someone I am not which I should only be doing on stage.
Never Have I EverI'm mature enough to be on my own. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna Google how to buy a credit card.
Devi Vishwakumar in Never Have I EverWe just miss our old friend, but right now, you're not her. You just seem lost.
Never Have I EverShe's a trailblazing Indian diva who marches to the beat of her own drummer.
Never Have I EverYou fight back with your spirit, little one. You stand up for yourself!
Never Have I EverAunties are older Indian women who have no blood-relation to you. But are allowed to have opinions about your life and all your shortcomings. And you have to be nice to them because you're Indian.
IndiaJohn McEnroe in Never Have I EverI found a Bollywood movie about a princess who falls for a lowly street sweeper. It's only seven hours long.
Kamala in Never Have I EverYou look like an Indian Kardashian.
Fabiola Torres in Never Have I EverNow you may be asking yourself why is sports icon John McEnroe narrating this tale? It'll make sense later I promise.
John McEnroe in Never Have I EverIt's like, I think about sex 24/7, but I don't really know how to do it. In the movies, you always see the girl kiss her way down the guy's body, but then, she moves off-screen. Is she stopping at the penis or kissing all the way to the foot?
Devi Vishwakumar in Never Have I EverYou better go to your room before I give you a smack. Smacking is still an acceptable punishment in many minority cultures.
Nalini Vishwakumar in Never Have I EverHey gods, it's Devi Vishwakumar, your favorite Hindu girl in the San Fernando Valley. What's a-poppin'? It's the first day of school, and I thought we should have a check-in. I think we can all agree that last year sucked for a number of reasons. So I thought of a few ways you guys can make it up to me. One: I'd like to be invited to a party with alcohol and hard drugs. I'm not gonna do them, I'd just like the opportunity to say, "No cocaine for me, thanks. I'm good." Two: I'd love for my arm hair to thin out. I know it's an Indian thing, but my forearms look like the frigging floor of a barber shop. And lastly, most importantly, I'd really, really like a boyfriend, but not some nerd from one of my AP classes. Like a guy from a sports team. He can be dumb, I don't care. I just want him to be a stone-cold hottie, who could rock me all night long. Thanks for considering. I love you guys.
Devi Vishwakumar in Never Have I EverI saw a couple riding a tandem bike, and it made me think of how you don't know how to ride a bike.
Kamala in Never Have I EverI'm sorry. I've been told before that my light tread is too elegant to be detected by the human ear.
Kamala in Never Have I Ever