Max Belfort: 'What kind of a hooker takes credit cards?'
Donnie Azoff: 'A rich one!'
You wanna know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.Wall Street0
97% of the people who quit too soon are employed by the 3% who didn’t.0
Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.0
You got my money taped to your tits, honey. Technically, you do work for me.0
My name is Jordan Belfort. The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.0
The game is rigged, and it does not reward people who play by the rules.Capitalism, Wall Street0
These Wall Street guys, you see what they did to this country? They stole from everybody. Hard working people lost everything, and not one of these douchebags went to jail.Wall Street0
It’s our moments of struggle that define us.0
Wade Jennings: 'You can't hide from us, Banning.'
Mike Banning: 'Don’t worry about finding me. I'll find you.'
Mike Banning: 'You almost blew me up!'
Clay Banning: 'You’re welcome.'
Mike Banning: 'You must really like fishing, Mr. President. It's cold out here.'
Allan Trumbull: 'Anything to get out of DC for a while.'
They think they have to kill you before sunrise or something very bad will happen to the family.0
Bruce sings about not letting the hardness of the world stop you from letting the best of you slip away. My hope is to build a bridge to my ambitions, but not a wall between my family and me.0
I listened to everything, I can feel it all right here. It's like Bruce knows everything I've ever felt. Everything I ever wanted.0
Lucas: 'Anal Beads?'
Thor: 'It’s Japanese for nunchucks, motherfucker!'
Lucas: 'Are you okay?'
Thor: 'They smell like shit.'
'You're coming to my party tonight? Emma's mates are coming and I know one who would be perfect for you.'
'She's not fussy.'
Hannah: 'You took my bag?'
Max: 'Don’t get any closer!'
Lilly: 'Oh, my God. There’s Molly in there.'
Max: 'Okay, who’s Molly? Because she’s not with us.'
So you’re going to get invited to some of these parties called 'raves'. The music sounds like this, 'Ba-ba-ba-ba. Go get it!' Be careful, that’s what we want to say.0
You know the jungle, it’s a part of you. But exploring is not a game, and you don’t look before you leap.0
The best drivers don't dwell on the future or the past. The best drivers focus only on the present.Moment & Present0
Some people believe if we repeat stories often enough they become real. They make us who we are. That can be scary.Stories0
'Pick a door.'
'All right then.'
'No, that's my door. Pick another door.'
'What's wrong with you? [Opens door] You know, you were right, this is your door.'
'What's the matter, you got a lot of bad guys behind that door?'
You guys are the best. Even though some of you are pretty thin, I think that you all have fat hearts. And that's what matters.0
Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!0
Bumper: 'I have a feeling that we should kiss. Is that feeling a good feeling, or an incorrect feeling?'
Fat Amy: 'I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth. But then I think... better not.'
Aubrey: 'You call yourself "Fat Amy"?'
Fat Amy: 'Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.'
Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong, we're not the same
We're different in a good way
Together's where we belong
Tilda: 'Why have you got all your food in the bookcase?'
Amandus: 'There was no space left in the dishwasher.'
Tilda: 'How does it actually feel?'
Tilda: 'When you forget everything.'
Amandus: 'It's like... like having a head full of honey. All gummed up.'
Tilda: 'How long have you had honey in your head?'
Amandus: 'Since I can't remember when.'
Remember mad-cow-disease? Well, mad-cow-disease became mad-person-disease, which became mad-zombie-disease. It's a fast acting virus which left you angry, crazy, and with a strong case of the munches.0
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.0
Little Rock: 'Who's Bill Murray?'
Tallahassee: 'I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.'
Little Rock: 'Who's Gandhi?'
It's amazing how quickly things can go from 'bad' to 'total shitstorm'.0
My mother always told me, 'someday you'll be good at somethin'.' Who'd have guessed that 'somethin'' would be 'zombie killin''?0
Tallahassee: 'Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense. You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year.'
Columbus: 'There are no penguins on the North Pole.'
Tallahassee: 'You wanna feel how hard I can punch?'
Columbus: 'You should actually, limber up.'
Tallahassee: 'I don't believe in it. You ever seen a lion limber up before taking down a gazelle?'
You are like a giant cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.0
You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.0
Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours.0
Let me begin my three-part apology by saying you're a wonderful human being.0
Iron Man: 'Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates?'
Captain America: 'What?'
Iron Man: 'It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle.'