The best Movie Quotes (Page 28)

In order to get scared, all you have to do is to come in contact with a rumor, or the television, or the internet.

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

If we're gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.

You broke the heart that broke mine.

This next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called, "We hate you, please die".

You know what really sucks? Everything.

Don't let what's past ruin your future.

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.

The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.

You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!

I heard there's an asteroid or a comet or something that you don't like the looks of. Tell me about it and then tell me why you're telling me about it.

They charge an arm and a leg for this stuff. Ten apiece ought to do it.

Do we keep having a wonderful time or does he go back with you to Wisconsin? Or Montana. Michigan?

Wallace Wells: "Guess who's drunk!"
Scott Pilgrim: "I guess Wallace."
Wallace Wells: "You guess right!"

Stacey Pilgrim: "Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends."
Scott Pilgrim: "It's seven."
Stacey Pilgrim: "Oh, well, that's not that bad."

Computer: "You've got mail."
Scott Pilgrim: "Dude, this thing claims I have mail."
Wallace Wells: "It's amazing what we can do with computers these days."
Scott Pilgrim: "Dude, now I'm totally reading it."
Wallace Wells: "I'm so happy for you."

If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?

Todd Ingram: "We have an unfinished business. I and he."
Scott Pilgrim: "He and me."
Todd Ingram: "Don't you talk to me about grammar!"

Randall Mindy: "There's a 100% certainty of impact."
Janie Orlean: "Please, don't say 100%."
Vice President: "Can we just call it a potentially significant event?"
Kate Dibiasky: "But it isn't potentially going to happen. It is going to happen."
Randall Mindy: "Exactly. 99.78% to be exact."
Jason Orlean: "Great. Okay, so it's not 100%."
Teddy Oglethorpe: "Well, scientists never like to say 100%."
Janie Orlean: "Call it 70% and let's just move on."

Ladies, Gentlemen, I wish you a very pleasant end of times.

Wallace Wells: "If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word."
Scott Pilgrim: "Lesbian?"
Wallace Wells: "The other L-word."
Scott Pilgrim: "Lesbians?"

Knives Chau: "I've never even kissed a guy before."
Scott Pilgrim: "Hey... me neither!"

Ramona Flowers: "What kind of tea do you want?"
Scott Pilgrim: "There's more than one kind?"
Ramona Flowers: "We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and... earl grey."
Scott Pilgrim: "Did you make some of those up?"

I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheater and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops.

Not everything needs to sound so clever, or charming, or likeable all the time. Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. We need to hear things!

Phillip: "She did not say that you were a lesbian. It was a question."
Kate: "Hey, look, can I sit down with your mom to have lunch in, like, seven months?"
Phillip: "Seven. That's weirdly specific and distant. This is my mom!"

Dr. Randall Mindy: "This isn't real, right? This is just some sort of alternate reality, right? Say something!"
Kate Dibiasky: "I got to go get high."

Unless you aholes are taking me to the Batcave, f you for putting this hood on me!

I've been running it all day. I keep getting the same result. A direct hit of Earth in six months and fourteen days.

Are we really about to tell the president of the United States that we have just over six months until humankind, basically every species, is completely extinct?

Madam President, this comet is what we call a planet-killer.

What do these trillions of dollars even matter if we're all gonna die?

You cannot go around saying to people that there's 100% chance that they're gonna die.

This will affect the entire planet!

You're just telling a story. Keep it simple. No math.

When everybody else has gone home, Drew stays on the field to see what he could've done better. That's how you become great.

"Did Dennis just fall down?"
"Yeah. He doesn't like contact."
"He know he's playin' football?"

"Coach Payton is going to be our new offensive coordinator."
"Our defense sucks too."

"You're ordering a pizza right now?"
"Hell yeah, I want stuffed crust. What kind of question is that?"

What did I learn in 2021? I learned that nobody learned anything in 2020.

The bizarre beliefs of hardcore anti-vaxxers means a significant number still insist on their right not to get the shot. Unfortunately, COVID still insists on his right to infect and kill them.

President Biden announces the full US withdrawal from Afghanistan by September 11th, freeing future history students from the tyranny of memorizing too many different dates.

Water, previously considered the opposite of fire, bursts into flames in the Gulf of Mexico.

Krispy Kreme offered free donuts to the vaccinated, so by 2022, 98% of the US population will either have COVID-19 or type II diabetes.

One of them was a bison who disguised himself as a human. He was probably protesting because bison still don't have the vote, do they? And even if they did, they'd never be able to hold the pencil in their hooves.

2021 opens on a note of optimism. A range of lip smacking new vaccines promises to transform the COVID-pandemic from an ongoing crisis to a repressed traumatic memory.

This was something else. A cross between a violent insurrection and a chimps' tea party. Terrifying and stupid, like a Muppet reboot of the Vietnam War.

This is the story of 2021, told by those who were there to viewers who were also there.

Tennyson: "I do not dance the wokey-cokey. So you can call me whatever you like."
Man: "Oh, I was just checking whether we should put OBE after your name."
Tennyson: "No, you should. You must, in fact."

Thomas: "So, why are you just a hairdresser?"
Isabelle: "Just? Truth is, I'd love nothing more than to do something else."