The best Quotes from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

The best Quotes from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Ah, I see you have the machine that goes "ping!". This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to - that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
Hospital Administrator in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth
Obstetrician 1: "Get the EEG, the BP monitor, and the AVV."
Obstetrician 2: "And get the machine that goes 'ping!'."
Obstetrician 1: "And get the most expensive machine - in case the Administrator comes."
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth
1
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - The End of the Film
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part VII: Death
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part VI: The Autumn Years
So, remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part V: Live Organ Transplants
I killed fifteen of those buggers. Now, at home they'd hang me - here they'll give me a f*cking medal, sir!
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part III: Fighting Each Other
Democracy and humanitarianism have always been trademarks of the British Army.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part III: Fighting Each Other
But despite the efforts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continue to multiply everywhere.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their s*men with more care
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth
O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us,
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part II: Growth and Learning
The universe itself keeps expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whizz,
As fast as it can go,
At the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute,
And that's the fastest speed there is,
So, remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part V: Live Organ Transplants