"You fight like a dairy farmer."
"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."
Guybrush: "How can you see without eyeballs?"
Murray: "How can you walk around without a brain? Some things no one can answer!"
"You're no match for my brains, you poor fool."
"I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them."
"Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!"
"First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster."
"I once owned a dog that was smarter than you."
"He must have taught you everything you know."
"I've spoken with apes more polite than you!"
"I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion!"
Guybrush: "Why do adventure games cost so much?
LeChuck: "Scanned VGA art is very expensive."
Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.Monkey Island - The Secret of Monkey Island, by Guybrush Threepwood
Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?BananasMonkey Island
Guybrush: "I'm looking for 30 dead guys and one woman."
Cannibal: "I don't think I want to hear any more about it."
Swordfighting is a little like making love; it's not always what you do, but what you say.Monkey Island
Storekeeper: "What do you want?"
Guybrush: "I could really use a breath mint."
Storekeeper: "You're telling me. Take one. Please. Take a whole roll."
Guybrush: "My name is Guybrush Threepwood and I wanna be a pirate!"
Lookout: "So you want to be a pirate, eh? You look more like a flooring inspector."
Meathook: "You've got a real attitude problem!"
Guybrush: "Well... you've got a real hair problem!"
Meathook: "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
Guybrush: "Neither did your barber."