The best Quotes by Molly Ivins

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Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

Texas

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Sheldon Cooper in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 1

Texas

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 4 Episode 8

Texas

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 13

Texas

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 9

Texas Oklahoma

Amy: "Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving."
Zora: "Oh, good. 'Cause if there's anything Texans love, it's different sh-t."

From Scratch - Season 1

Texas

Since you went away
I bet you missed your exit
And drove right on through the Lone Star state
There's a seat for you at the rodeo
And I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway

Bowling for Soup - Ohio (Come Back to Texas), Album: A Hangover You Don’t Deserve

Texas

In Texas, it's football. In Georgia, football. There's an appreciation from the average person about football more than anywhere else. And we have that for basketball in New York. And we'll always have that in New York.

Kenny Smith

Basketball American Football Texas Georgia

Lila: "So, Richter, why are you such a nihilist?"
Richter: "A what?"
Lila: "I mean, anyone who blasts diesel into the atmosphere like that, truly gives zero f-s about like anything."
Richter: "I'm a Texan. I don't like people telling me what to do. Especially smug, self-righteous, rich, city folk."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

Texas

In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans.

Kelly Clarkson

Texas Jeans

Are you really a Texan? I mean, really? If I have a headache, I'd put bacon around an Aspirin before I take it.

RJ Scott

Texas

Football is to Texas what religion is to a priest.

Tom Landry

American Football Texas

Don't mess with Texas!

Texas

Texas has long been known as the nation's largest energy producer, but we are equally proud of our distinction as the nation's leading energy innovator.

Rick Perry

Texas

You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.

Davy Crockett

Texas

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians.

Henry Rollins

Texas

When rough times have fallen upon our state in the past, Texans have always responded with generosity and an eagerness to help. The compassionate response to the fires has proven that this community spirit is alive and well.

Randy Neugebauer

Texas

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because God had put me on the ground in Texas. I actually felt sorry for those poor little kids that had to be born in Oklahoma or England or some place. I knew I was living in the best place in the world.

Tommy Lee Jones

Texas

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

California

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

California

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Gloria Swanson

California

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

Linus Torvalds

California Helsinki

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Joan Didion

California

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

Silk Spectre in Watchmen -

Justice California

I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.

Glenn Frey

Los Angeles California

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11

California

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin Powers in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

England & Great Britain California

It's the edge of the world
And all of Western civilization
The sun may rise in the east
At least it's settled in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication, Album: Californication

California

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 9

California Texas

Men must be free to do what they believe. It is not our right to punish one for thinking what they do, no matter how much we disagree.

Assassin's Creed

Human Rights Freedom Opinions

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Josh Billings

Foolishness Opinions

All empty souls tend toward extreme opinions.

William Butler Yeats

Foolishness Opinions Racism Conspiracy Theories

If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

Sam in Garden State

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

He who can make people laugh has to be taken seriously; all people with power know that.

Werner Finck

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy Satire

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Erma Bombeck

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily - weak people, in other words.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Seriousness

Take your job seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously.

Alex Trebek

Seriousness Craziness & Weirdness

In other words, you don't want to be serious
It takes two to be serious.

Edward Estlin Cummings

Seriousness

It's true that none of my characters are admirable. But maybe I'm primarily a satirist, and a satirist needs to hold up what's not admirable.

T. C. Boyle

Satire

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Lenny Bruce

Satire

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

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