I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.