Quotes by Miranda Hobbes

Sex is not a time to chat. It's one of the few instances in my overly articulated, exceedingly verbal life, where it is perfectly appropriate, if not preferable, to shut up.

The witch in 'Hänsel and Gretel'... she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it!

I was once with a guy the size of one of those little miniature golf pencils. Couldn't tell if he was trying to fuck me or erase me.

Carrie: "You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of Scotch?"
Samantha: "The invitation said 'BYOB'."
Miranda: "That meant 'bring your own baby'!"
Carrie: "What did you get her?"
Miranda: "Condoms."

Carrie: "She isn't a hooker, she's like an international party girl."
Miranda: "She's a hooker with a passport."

Carrie: "She took some highfalutin job at Mina Minetti, which is, if you can wrap your brain around this, a higher-end Brunello Cucinelli."
Miranda: "These words mean nothing to me, but now I want pasta."

Carrie: "Remember when we had to legally stand six feet apart from one another?"
Miranda: "Yeah. I miss it."

Charlotte: "She's wearing flats."
Miranda: "That is the most desperate put-down I have ever heard."

If a man is over 30 and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian, they're being weeded out from propagating the species.