The best Quotes by Mike Birbiglia

The best Quotes by Mike Birbiglia

Mike Birbiglia (born June 20, 1978) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, storyteller, director, producer and writer.

Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive.

I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote 'The Dark Knight' with Chris, his brother. He wrote 'The Prestige,' the story for 'Memento.'

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.'

I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.

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You're gonna like Massachusetts. It's very patriotic - perfect for a fresh start.

Georgia Miller in Ginny & Georgia - Season 1 Episode 1

I'm lucky to have been raised in the most beautiful place - Amherst, Massachusetts, state of my heart. I'm more patriotic to Massachusetts than to almost any place.

Uma Thurman

I will work my heart out to earn the trust of the people of Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren

The man in the White House is not the cause of what is broken, he is just the latest and most extreme symptom of what's gone wrong in America. A product of a rigged system that props up the rich and powerful and kicks dirt on everyone else.

Elizabeth Warren (as Senator of Massachusetts) - February 9, 2019

I went to Massachusetts to make a difference. I didn't go there to begin a political career running time and time again. I made a difference. I put in place the things I wanted to do.

Mitt Romney

Only a liberal senator from Massachusetts would say that a 49 percent increase in funding for education was not enough.

George W. Bush

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Massachusetts - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

I will do everything if confirmed as FBI director to make sure the American public knows the full weight of what happened.

Kash Patel - Januar 2025

The Epstein Files

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Massachusetts

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