Quote by Michael Scott (about Romeo and Juliet)

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

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Michael: "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore. You will find love."
Kevin: "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now."
Michael: "Don't be. You should never settle for who you are."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 22

Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike. I had those extra wheels on the back that support you.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 5

How do I feel about losing the sale? It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 7 Episode 5

Michael Phelps

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Toby - I would shoot Toby twice.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

Toby Flenderson

I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 21

The way this place used to work was, make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 20

It is St. Patrick's Day and here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 19

St. Patrick's Day

You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never...- I don't know him.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 9

When Mary was denied a room at the inn, Jesus was born. When Michael was denied a room at the inn... we don't know what happens because that story hasn't been told yet.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 4

Michael: "You use your brain too much."
Jim: "I'm sorry, are you advocating that I use it less?"
Michael: "Sometimes, the smartest people don't think at all."
Jim: "You just came up with that."
Michael: "As I was saying it."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 3

Jim: "Yesterday, we had a meeting about planets."
Michael: "Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets. We were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon?"

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 3

Toilet

Michael: "I don't want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?"
Pam: "Yeah."
Michael: "I just don't want you to."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 2

I hate, hate, hate being left out. Whether it's not being picked for a team or being picked for a team and then showing up and realizing that the team doesn't exist. Or that the sport doesn't exist. I should have known. Poopball?

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 1

I set the rules and you follow them. Blindly. Okay? And if you have a problem with that, then you can talk to our complaint department. It's a trash can.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 26

Trash & Garbage

I feel weak today. I felt much stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 22

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Pam: "Have you really thought this through? 'Cause it's a pretty big risk."
Michael: "This is a dream that I have had since lunch and I am not giving up on it now."

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21

I had a great time at prom. And no one said "yes" to that, either.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21

Did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a circular net you put inside the toilet to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 5 Episode 19

Toilet

Don't waste your love on somebody who doesn't value it.

William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep. The more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.

William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do, that dares love attempt.

William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

Love Valentine's Day Pisces ♓

Alacke, there lies more perill in thine eye,
Then twenty of their swords, looke thou but sweete,
And I am proofe against their enmity.
My life were better ended by their hate,
Then death proroged wanting of thy Love.

William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

Love

Pam: "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office."
Jim: "No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place."
Pam: "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed."
Jim: "And a shower."

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 7 Episode 16

Shower

Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a depression-era practicality, and then moved to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 5 Episode 17

Birthday

It's like I used to tell my wife: "I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it, you can leave." And I say the same thing to my current wife. And I'll say it to my next one too.

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 4 Episode 12

Apologize

What's the problem? Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.

Dwight Schrute in The Office - Season 8 Episode 3

I'm not going to tell my nine-months-pregnant wife that I find her replacement objectively attractive. Just like I'm not going to tell my two-year-old daughter that violent video games are objectively more fun. It's true, but it doesn't help anybody.

Jim Halpert in The Office - Season 8 Episode 7

Jim: "What about and energy drink?"
Pam: "It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, CeCe drinks it six hours later."
Jim: "It doesn't mean I can't drink it."
Pam: "Well, it does and it doesn't."

Pam Beesly in The Office - Season 6 Episode 25

Michael: "Phyllis did injure herself, but she injured herself having fun and I don't think she'd trade that memory for anything."
Stanley: "I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense."

Stanley Hudson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 27

I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

Ryan Howard in The Office

Kelly Kapoor

Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch.

Toby Flenderson in The Office - Season 5 Episode 21

Airplanes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy Bernard in The Office

Michael: "Excuse me, everyone... Sex! Now that I have your attention...-"
Stanley: "You don't have our attention."
Michael: "Money!"
Stanley: "I'm listening."
Kevin: "You had me at 'Sex'."

Kevin Malone in The Office - Season 7 Episode 9

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

Robert California in The Office - Season 8 Episode 11

Florida

In five years, I'd like to be five years sober... four and a half.

Meredith Palmer in The Office - Season 2 Episode 15

Karen Filippelli: "You can't give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow."
Creed Bratton: "Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of 'em."

Creed Bratton in The Office - Season 3 Episode 9

When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more.

Karen Filippelli in The Office - Season 3 Episode 18

When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commercials, then I realized I had a brain.

Oscar Martinez in The Office - Season 4 Episode 5

Advertising & Marketing

Pam: "We got you this."
Michael: "Oh, vino."
Jan: "Oh, well, Pam, thank you. Tremendous. This will be great to cook with - really."

Jan Levinson in The Office - Season 4 Episode 9

Do you not answer emails anymore? Because I've emailed you four times asking you to come to my desk.

Angela Martin in The Office - Season 6 Episode 20

What did I say? I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

Kelly Kapoor in The Office - Season 7 Episode 2

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

Quote by Michael Scott (about Romeo and Juliet)

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