The best Quotes by Michael Lawson

I prepped your birthday breakfast, but my showing got moved up by an hour, so you'll have to finish without me for the second time today.

I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

Michael: "I walked into this club. I saw Colin, and I thought...-"
Suzanne: "He's the one!"
Michael: "No, I thought, 'How can I find a way to rub on his ass and look like I'm just dancing?'"

Three vodka sodas, please! What do you guys want?

Do you have any idea what it's like to be single again for a gay man at my age?

Being single's an attitude. The minute you are desperate for a relationship, never gonna find one.

Michael: "Come on. I mean, 50? 50 is so young."
Colin: "People only use '50' and 'so young' in the same sentence at a funeral."

Michael: "We got robbed. The housekeeper said they took clothes and wine. And what else? A Sonos speaker and Hermès towels that are too nice to actually use."
Suzanne: "Sounds like somebody's havin' a gay yard sale."

Play hard to get if you want to get him hard again.

That is just the cherry on the shit parfait that is my life lately. I went out with that guy I met on Hinge. Suffice it to say, they should rename that app "Unhinged". The psycho ba-tard told me I would be so hot if I lost ten pounds, but I could sit on his face anyway.

The man leaves you cold, and you buy him a present? What's in there? Brass knuckles to punch you in the face with?

I remember Hell's Kitchen when you couldn't walk west of Ninth Avenue without getting knifed. Now it's Chelsea with better gays.

Trust me, you do not wanna be gay and single in this town. At our age, you're invisible.

Michael: "Hey, birthday boy! Gosh, the tension in your shoulders is off the charts. What's going on?"
Colin: "I took my clothes and some things, and I moved out."

Oh, men. Do we love 'em for the d-ck or the date?

God, why are you jumping up at me like that the second I walk in the door? Gives me flashbacks to when I had to raise my children.

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Potatoes become french fries, chips and vodka. I'm starting to think that other vegetables aren't really trying.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

It can take a lifetime to discover vodka, but only an instant to fall in love with it.